I have been hearing from
[email protected] also (using the same name: Balduino John Champion) and dead wife story. I was very skeptical and played along, but have tired of the nonsense. I had a lot of fun with the following email: can't imagine I will hear from it again...
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My Dearest John,
Oh, my sweetest darling man!!! it is so sad to think of you crying...what a dastardly thought indeed. I'm just not as eloquent with prose as you are, what with all the bluebirds' morning singing and the soft breezes and the rustle of the leaves in the trees and all the anticipatory tingling and so forth. If only I could express all those tender romantic notions in hundreds of thousands of words. Here, let me try...
You are like a light shining through the endless tunnel of nothingness...a blazing beacon calling me to experience a more meaningful life brimming to overflowing with the most tender love imaginable: yours. oh, my sweetest Balduino, although i want for all these things and need them even more, I do not feel i am enough woman for you. who ever could be? it's a conundrum for sure. the very concept of you considering retiring from your amazingly fabulous career from the ApexMax fund, and not be able to go on multiply-consecutive business trips all over the world to enlighten your investors, only to spend endless days reeling from the heated flames of our passion and one-of-a-kind deep magnificient love is too unthinkably selfish of me. I just cannot do it to you, my darling pinnacle of sweetness.
I am sure your business will do just fine without me in your life...after all, you are the very essence of the recipe for success! Oh, and so am I...you told me and convinced me so! In fact, I have become so much more successful just since knowing you for this past week. I have learned so very much from you and your eloquent emails. From your amazing advice, I have made some very wise investments, and in just 2 days, I've made over $850,000 !!! I am so excited about my earnings potential...and I have you to thank for awakening this elusive power in my being!!!! So please accept my heartiest gratitude for making my life so much more successful, meaningful and complete. Before you came into my life, I felt like a helpless limbless nothing...adrift in the vast sea of self-hatred, ugliness and loathing. And fragility. You, my lovely man, have made my life a magical fairyland of hope, success and romantic promise! How can I ever repay you for your many many many many many many many delightful kindesses? I feel like I can move on to new experiences now, that are appropriate for me.
It is because I know you care for me and wish only the best for me that I can tell you this knowing you will not react with anger or jealousy: because of your awakening in me my success quotient and confidence in myself, I have found true love!!! YES, yes I have! I realize what a double or triple edge sword this news probably will be when you read all these words. But please, I beg of you...actually, it's more like I'm pleading with you: Please be happy for us, darling Balduino John Champion !!!
Please, I'm pleading with all my heart and soul, which again, has always been very fragile and so forth.
Please allow me to tell you all about my new true love: he is employed by a very famous entertainment organization, a circus if you will. He is a trapeze artist. I fell in love with him instantaneously. I feel guilty for even looking at him while I was being romanced by you during your fabulous electronic emails which were more romanterotic than mere words can even try to express, but seeing him in those leotards flipping and twirling so high in the air was more than my poor fragile heart could stand. A couple of times, I spilled my popcorn on the ground I was so out of control!! (I am truly embarrassed to say this to you. But, I seem to be getting over it quickly.)
I'm so sorry John, that it has worked out this way. But I know you understand me when I say that love is blind and other past (and even somewhat current) loves are ...well, also blind, if you want to get right down to it. We've all been blind, but I know this time it is really true for me. My sparkling bluegreen eyes are wide open now!!! I cannot wait to join Lorenzo on his upcoming tour!!! He has a lovely trailer with a picture of himself flying across the air painted on the outside. We will live together in his sweet little lovenest camper. Again, please wish me nothing but delightful loving wishes for my future, as I have always wished for you.
My dearest darling Mr. Champion, don't shed any more tears for me. Our love is like the fleeting wings of Mercury himself...or like the shifting sands of time...or like a sand dune slipping sadly into the open arms of the deepest blue ocean, or like a wild herd of stampeding gazelles, or like a delicious baloney sandwich dotted with lovingly-chewed bubblegum: a love like this comes only once in a lifetime. Or, maybe a few thousand times. Who can say?
My Lorenzo and I will be traveling all around the world, so in case it does not work out with me and him, please give me your phone number so I can find you on one of your business trips. It would be really magnificient if we could meet up on an isolated romantic beach somewhere and you can at last educate me on all the magical secrets of how water can speak to my soul!!! I have tried having conversations with water many times in the past, but all that happens is my hair gets frizzy: it would be so awesome for you to guide me in this!
So, in closing, please don't worry about your business. I have faith in you...you are a strong, brilliant man!!! Do not retire...do not even consider that for some mere woman! Your success and intellectuality will carry you all the days of the rest of your life. And several subsequent lives as well !!! But on the other hand, if something does go wrong...you have the tools to start again!!!! You have shown me you have the tools, time and time again!!! In fact, you are basically, well, a power tool yourself.
All my sincerest heartfelt regards,
Your Patty, formerly
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From: John Champion <
[email protected]>
To:
Removed personal information. ~BubblesSent: Monday, July 23, 2012 10:22 AM
Subject: Re: Happy (sunday) morning
Patty my Dearest,
I must say i like the way you express your feelings with confidence and i understand your frustration, so am i because this is not what i wanted. what i wanted is to spend some quality time with you after my 4 days seminar in CA. but things changed which i know will be difficult for you to handle. you have to understand that my trip is just temporary and will never be a problem for me not to meet you soon, am really crying as am sending you this email because i know you might not write me again and my heart will be broken. please understand that i need your support in this difficult moment because loosing you will bring nothing but failure in this my business trip. i know you said you don't like to talk on phone but i really think its what we need right now to strengthen things and have some feeling for our self. please send me your phone number so that i can call you tomorrow before i leave, i promise you that after this trip i will be home and we will have the rest of the year to enjoy together. did i tell you am planing on retirement after this dealings? that's for sure now i have the reason to retire and build a new life with you. all i want from you is just your daily emails, please understand me my Darling.
i have to rush now,more later