Hello, I got a small question!

Hello Scamwarners!

I had a small question. My mum,46 yrs old, has been single since she dropped the father of my sisters ( They are my step sisters, but psh, I call them my sisters anyways.) She has been going on internet chats and I think she might have joined some dating sites ( I rarely go onto her computer.).

I remember 4 or 5 yrs ago she would receive letters from men in Nigeria and Togo and Lagos and they'd send her "pictures" of them that looked real, said how much they loved my mom and wanted to come over and needed help for a Visa. Thank goodness mum never fell for their plans and would laugh at what they would write.

3 yrs ago,she was chatting with that french dude, on msn and you know how it goes. " I think I love you, you are my soul mate, blablabla" and she got "screwed over" into buying him an expensive One Ring from LOTR. This had me upset but my mother wouldn't hear me.

How can I warn her that she shouldn't get attached too quickly to ppl over the internet? She usually tells me " I'm 46, I'm old enough to know what I'm doing" But I'm scared she would get too attached to somebody and go see them or have them over. Makes me a tadd scared because I'm moving out with my boyfriend soon.

Is there anyways I can warn her?

How wonderful that you are so caring towards your mother!

I think that there are two things to consider here:

One is that it is possible to make some good friends online. And meet potential dates that way. Not everybody who is online is a scammer - or even just weird!

But, of course, as you know, there are plenty of scammers out there too. And it can really help if someone is well-informed how to recognise them. There's a super guide to 'Are you falling for a love scammer?' right here:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=3607

Perhaps your Mum would like to read it? She's not too old to learn something new - with her experience of life, she should be able to take this in maybe even easier than a younger person, and apply all those checks and safeguards to anyone she is in contact with.

We all make mistakes in looking for love, and I guess you can't protect her from all of that. But she can protect herself from the scammers who she might come into contact with. One good rule: Never send money or gifts (or receive money or gifts) from anyone you have never met. Better still: no money or gifts exchanged with anyone you have not met lots and lots of times, and introduced to your family too. Genuine men will understand that.

Thank you so much Chris

I've met some very good friends of mine online as well, but I dunno, it looks like my mum has bad luck. Last time she met someone it was a french man that came over for his holiday and he ended up only wanting to get into my mum's pants n grabbed my butt O.O...let me tell you he flew back to France real quick! Zoom! There are great ppl online, but it looks like the bad ones over-shadow them

I will send my mum the link and hope that she reads it and takes it seriously.

I feel bad she sent that random guy that ring, I kept telling her he was only nice to her to get things from her, that she shouldn't do it, but she didn't listen. She's been single for a very long while and even if she says she's "perfectly happy alone with us", I know she's lonely.

Welcome to Scamwarners littlemaiko. Well Done on looking out and caring for others

Online safety is very important for everyone. If you have any concerns - please post - we will help.

A few basic rules may help keep everyone safe;

Never send money to anyone you do not personally know.

Do not be quick to trust, do not give personal details or share photographs.

Be careful what you post on the net.

Do not put others at risk by being careless.

Be extra cautious and learn how to use Google to check things out.

Not everyone out there is truthful or trustworthy.

Unfortunately parents always know best and are always right Try not to get into a situation where your mom starts hiding her 'friends' from you.

For the mostpart your mom is going to do what she wants to do anyway so whilst it's great you're trying to advise her etc, it's often better to be on her side so to speak even if you are highly suspicious of her 'friend'. That way you'll always be up-to-date with what's going on and the more you learn about the 'friend', the easier it becomes to gather evidence if something is amiss. The majority of scammers, love cheats etc leave tracks online somewhere. There's also many tools available for checking out email addresses, whether they're linked to social networking sites etc. If ever you have suspicions, if you feel your mom wont listen then do exercise patience until you can gather enough info and then try to persuade her he's no good.

^^ Great advice although I would like to add that providing us with as much information as you can will alow us to hopefully provide teh evidence you have been looking for.

We also have many experienced members who can email the person being scammed and to help them see the truth