ChristianMingle Romance Scam

I went on ChristianMingle for online dating and was scammed. I figured it out after two weeks but not after dishing out $1500 (which I can't believe I did) and flying to an airport to meet him and then having to wait for many hours to get a flight home. The e-mail address that he (?) used was [email protected]. The name that he (?) used was Ryan Mcbride. When I was sitting in the airport, I received a call on my cell phone from a physician (?) who said he was in a car accident in which the vehicles burned but the only item salvaged was a piece of paper with my name on it. That was the trigger that this was a scam. And then the type of hospitals that the "doctor" said he was at, did not make sense. I guess that I thought that a Christian dating site would be safe. How wrong I was. I feel violated and ashamed but I'm happy that I found this site and can share my experience and hopefully prevent others from falling into this trap. Sitting in an airport for 16 hours allowed me much time for reflection and allowed me time to consider why and what would lead me to fall for this trick.

Well said movingforward. I too asked myself serious questions when the same happened previously.
I can quite assure everybody it is notmuch fun sitting around the damned airport terminal all afternoon waiting for an imaginery person to show. Not to mention the day off work, the long drive there, the worry when they don't turn up, trying to find answers from customs, talking to people at the airline office and the list goes on.
I used to participate actively with internet dating. My profile is still visible and I've not accessed it very much recently because I'm asking the question, is it worth the hassle?
There's many good knowlegable people on this site which indeed is a comfort. If you read your way through the forums, much can be learned on how scams operate etc.

Your ordeal sounds horrible. They are really good at manipulating people, especially those of us who were just not aware of Nigerian romance scammers. Dating sites are treacherous. I think once we have an experience like this, we can recognize the fake profiles quite easily though. Even if their English is good, there are other things that give it away (even before they ask for money). Don't feel ashamed. They've done this to a lot of intelligent people. Most of us have never experienced dealing with such low lives and really don't expect it until one of the creatures manipulates us. There are warnings on most of these dating sites now, but I think they can do more and be more specific about what they do to people. They could also check people's IP addresses and block people who use proxies or register with email addresses that can't be traced.

Thank you for the encouragement. This site has been very helpful. I found the number on the site to contact Western Union to see if the money had been picked up and it was 1/2 hour after sent (should have known...that was one week ago). But Western Union filled out a report.

I think that one of the cues for people to recognize a scam is that there may be something wrong in the e-mail address like a goofy letter or a transposed letter. With the scammer I had contact with, there was a "b" missing in the name. In an e-mail from the supposed hospital, there was an "s" instead of the correct letter.

Here is the wording from the e-mail that prompted me to send money. I discontinued the e-mail address but forwarded all of the e-mails to a different address to save. and now that I look at them, I can see where they were cut and paste. OMG...

"I had a very hectic and not so good day today (Monday)... As stated earlier, I have made the gold purchase, got documentations and paid all necessary fees only to be told I have to pay 2% of total purchase of $2,160,000 ($43,200) as IRS VAT on the gold purchase this afternoon. The normal percentage I was told was 1% but it is obviously different in Ghana. I have had to argue this with them all day to no avail. This is the first time I've ever been asked to pay so much as tax on a purchase... And at that stage, I was having only $21,600 which was what I budgeted for. I have exhausted all funds on me, help from friends and people I know as well as funds I can call for from home while abroad. I had to start making contacts... till this moment I've been able to raise $12,500 with a promise of 2,600 from a pastor friend too in the morning. I have called friends and all others I know to help and the funds have come so far.

I am still $6,500 short and my flight is 22:45 GMT tomorrow (Wednesday) evening. I have prayed and I know God has really been good so far in this emergency situation... I need people around me so much at this time as all I can think of is to contact people to raise the funds. I got the gold very cheap and per the laws of this country, I can not sell it here, hence I'd have sold part of it by now. If I decide to leave the gold and return, I'll be arrested for tax evasion. I tried to get in touch with the King that helped me with the purchase but he is out of the country... It's a really tight situation and I am turning to you at this time. If I miss my flight, it will impose additional expenses on me as charges for rescheduling, accommodation (hotel) and feeding expenses etc. Please pray for me my love as my options are slim now... But with Prayers, I know God will do it... I am so tired and need some rest now... The day has been a very long tiring day...

Please my love, I need this prayers so very urgently. I am very tight as I have to ensure shipping before my flight time. I am sorry if I worry you by this. I can not afford to miss my flight because it will impose extra financial burden on me regarding cost of rescheduling, accommodation and feeding here... You see I need a lot of prayers my dear... "

"I am grateful for your prayers and love... I feel your support always. Our prayers are being answered. I have been able to raise $4,200 this morning. I am so happy the Lord is good.

However, I am still in dire need of $2,300 yet. I need you to help me with this. If as a loan, please help me with this between now and early morning tomorrow so I will not miss my flight tomorrow evening. Please help me my love.

I am not sure if you have such funds to help me with, but I am hoping you can do something my love. Please I have no other ways left and missing my flight will spell bigger mess than already is... Please help me.

Send the money through western union or moneygram transfer to the IRS office accountant whose detail is as given to me below:

NAME: BEN T. ADEKANLA
COUNTRY: GHANA
CITY: ACCRA
QUESTION: FROM WHO
ANSWER:

Please send the mtcn and other transfer details when you do it."

Thank you for posting the name of the person supposed to receive the money transfer. This is valuable information for any victim who does a Google search.

I can imagine this is a difficult time for you. Please don't blame yourself for what has happened; there are a lot of persons completely unaware of online scams, just like you. When you feel up to it, talk about online scams with friends, public awareness will make a difference.

Hi All and specifically the administrators of this site,

Great work being done here.

I was prompted by a client of mine to visit here after he and two of his cousins were scandalized because of the name posted in respect of subject matter.

As a lawyer, I see you are doing a good job here. However, since the name is a tribal name here in Ghana and other places in Africa, it has been hard for my client who has the same name and he is not a scam artist as well as some of his other family members who have been asking Him questions despite everyone knows he is not into such activities.

What we are aiming at is that the name published as the receiver does not belong to only one person as I already have four people who answer the same name here and are all really scandalized by this post.

Suggestion: keep the post but remove the name because it scandalizes innocent people. Notice that the author removed his/her name (Identity) as well because it scandalizes and he/she may not be the only one with that name. We have to be mindful of innocent people when we try to rid our society of evil and not perpetuate other types of crime.

I hope I make some sense here.

Thank you.

Hi, and thanks for the compliment.
I do not speak for the administrators of this site but here are my thoughts on the matter anyway...

It is unfortunate that scammers use the names of good people. Some names are quite common and if we removed them, this site would be nearly useless.
For example, a search on this site for the name "McDonald" (which is a tribal name) returns forty nine results. If we removed them all, and a potential victim searched the name, they would not get a result and so may fall victim to the scam.
This site is here to help people and they tend to find us by researching their scammer.

I appreciate that there are a lot of good people in Ghana. If a scammer uses a name the same as a good person it is a shame but the people around this person know whether they are good or bad.

Hi, and thanks for the compliment.
I do not speak for the administrators of this site but here are my thoughts on the matter anyway...

It is unfortunate that scammers use the names of good people. Some names are quite common and if we removed them, this site would be nearly useless.
For example, a search on this site for the name "McDonald" (which is a tribal name) returns forty nine results. If we removed them all, and a potential victim searched the name, they would not get a result and so may fall victim to the scam.
This site is here to help people and they tend to find us by researching their scammer.

I appreciate that there are a lot of good people in Ghana. If a scammer uses a name the same as a good person it is a shame but the people around this person know whether they are good or bad.

If we are trying to be fair here, why is the author's name and detail also not reflecting? We can not be dishing out injustice to many more people in the name of doing good. The mails and other correspondences are there for anyone who thinks he/she needs information to follow but not to scandalize many innocent people. We must be sensitive to other people's interests as well because where my fundamental Human right ends is where other person's begins and we must be careful not to infringe on people's right. There is no need going the legal way if we can only reason together but if reason will not prevail, maybe that is the way will end up following.

If the author can put up his/her full name, then good and fair. Many people answer this name and it is not everyone that sees it that will ask you. They will just conclude. My client was served a query by his employer before contacting me while another person lost out on job opportunity because his name came out as a scammer when the employers was doing background checks on him. Aren't we doing more injustice than the justice we intend to do?

I think you should re-think your procedure out because this is scandalous and you can not just ignore everybody. I am sure all the people will not be the scammer. If the author wants help, we can work together and fish out this scammer, but to scandalize a whole tribal name for one person will be too unfair.

So it’s “scandalous” to help people to avoid becoming victims of crime by educating them about criminals and teaching them to be safe? I find it interesting that you are attempting to argue that we are infringing on people’s human rights at the same time that you are trying to trample the rights of the victims we are here to protect. Demanding that innocent people publish their personal information so that they can be harassed and threatened by criminals would be far more “scandalous.”

Our website exists to help victims. If victims are being instructed to wire money to someone as part of a scam, then we will allow that information to be published here if that information has the potential to help others to avoid falling for the same scam. The sad reality is that these criminals commit crime after crime without being arrested—and as long as that is allowed to happen, we will continue to make information available to help victims to avoid being scammed. If society ever reaches a point at which these criminals are arrested when they commit the first crime, we will no longer need to publish that information. Until then, we will continue to do what is right, and no amount of complaining is going to change that.

We have the names of several known American military officials posted on our site. Are those officials involved in the scams? Absolutely not. But scammers are using their names, and it is important for potential victims to understand and recognize that these are actively being used in scams.

Arguing that the name of a participant in criminal activity (whether it is an individual person or business) should not be published because the name itself is common and might be shared by innocent parties is simply ludicrous, and is no more logical than trying to stop the media from ever mentioning anyone’s name on the news, in newspapers, or anywhere else. It makes even less sense when you consider the fact that this is a US-based forum. This is a country in which even a speeding ticket is considered public record (and in some states is automatically published on the internet). If someone sharing my name is stopped for speeding, files for divorce, or goes to court for any reason, that information is readily and openly available. If she or a friend sends an email to someone and they post it in a blog, it will also be readily available. It is very possible that employers will find that information when investigating me, even though I had nothing to do with it. Any legitimate employer or organization seriously considering hiring someone or doing business with them can and should be expected to exercise due diligence, and make sure that they confirm the information relates to the right person. If your “client” is involved in business transactions or is seeking employment with someone legitimate, he should have every right to expect the same.

For the record, I completely understand that it can be frustrating when you share a name with someone who has a poor history. I personally have encountered that situation myself in real life. But at no point have I (or any family member) even considered contacting the newspapers who published stories about that person or the TV stations who put their story on the news, demanding that their name be removed. Whether we like it or not, what this person has done is "news" and it is going to be reported as such. We understand and accept that, and continue with our lives.

To make it perfectly clear: we will continue to encourage victims to post the names scammers are using in any part of their scams. We will also continue to require sufficient background information/evidence to ensure that those posts are appropriate, and we will remove those posts that are not. We will not aid scammers and hurt victims by removing names simply because there might be (or is) another person out there with the same name.

Like We have always maintained, there is no excuse for scamming anyone and whoever scam another should be exposed for who he/she is. Your analogy about newspaper is very interesting as it is like comparing apple with corn. When newspaper publish such stories, it is accompanied by photos as well as other specifics of such a person and BALANCE is always maintained. If the victim is allowed to post complete details, it will be fair and just, but they can remove their names and post others... We are served with distorted information in the name of someone called 'victim'. There is no ignorance in law. There are warning signs all over about scam, if you fall victim and want it reported, let's have a balance details. There are many publications like that with full details. No one is shielded or protected. It takes two to tangle.

I can only guess that your "assumptions" are based on a complete lack of awareness and understanding of how things work in the media in the United States and several other countries, as it is so far off base it's not even in the right ballpark.

However, I have already clearly stated the policies of this site in my previous post. You have made your viewpoint clear; we have made it clear that we are not going to change our policy. It is obvious from your username that you came here to complain; now it seems that you want to attempt to continue with some kind of argument based on increasingly inaccurate information and faulty analogies. We are here to help victims, not spend our time responding to complaints based on misinformation made by people who clearly do NOT want to help victims. Therefore, I am ending this now, and turning off your ability to post messages, as my time, and the time of the rest of our support staff, is better spent helping victims.

Christian mingle should be renamed christianswingers.com. There are people on that site looking for sex and "cybering" than on match.com. I'm extremely disappointed in this site. Every person I wrote never responded. Not to seem vain, but I am very successful and above average looks and am athletic build. DO NOT TRUST the last logged in date posted on their profile. There is no way you can email that many people and get no responses.

I foresaw that the lack of responses would be an issue from my experience with eharmony. So I just spent a few hours one day going through all the potential matches who have supposedly been online recently and messaged them. This is why I ended up messaging about 50 people in a two week period.

I would get instant messages on the site from people 20 years older than me telling me about "the things they would do to me" and that "they have fun with the dirty young ones on this site all the time."

One match seemed promising but when I mentioned that I loved the color or their eyes they made a comment about waiting till I saw how they looked when they were.......you get the point.

That's not to say that everyone on the site is like this, but rather that you are really going to need to spend A LOT of money and contact A LOT of people and deal with A LOT of perverts who are looking to "get off" with someone. I hate even having to talk like this but I'm just disgusted with the character of many members. Also plan on majority of people you contact having no profile photo (not a terrible thing, but annoying none the less).

The WORST story of all with this site is that some of the people on there (again some) are MARRIED and seeing "what God might have for them if they married the wrong person." WHAT??!!!!! I actually received an email from Cara with christianmingle warning me about an "inappropriate conversation" I had with this person...warning me!!! They said that they monitor ever form of communication on the site (in some ways I guess that's good, in others that's invasion of privacy), but when I wrote Cara back and explained to her that I was contacted by a married person and that they were the ones who said the inappropriate comments I never received a reply. So basically "Cara" threatened to delete my profile without reviewing the conversation, instead the other member report me....yes me!!...because I didn't play into their game.

So beware, if you are dealing with a crazy person on the site they could very well "report" you if you don't show interest and Cara will just send you an automated warning. Sad

Finally, and this is a bit more expected, don't be surprised when you get contacted by a member who begins confronting you about your denominational beliefs and accusing you of not having the Holy Spirit. I've had this happen on average 7 times a month. They they apologize and say they want to learn more about you and end up having to block them because they won't leave you alone. In a nutshell, doctrine police are everywhere on that site and they mainly think you don't know Jesus if you don't speak in tongues...sad.

Anyway, the site is just a tool for meeting people and its going to be quite expensive in the long haul. My advise is to find lots of singles/young life small groups in your area, develop friendships and find a potential mate that way.

I am so thankful for this website. My mother had sent $900.00 to Ghana, Africa for a man who called himself "William Taylor" that she met on Christian Mingle. I found this website after being very suspicious that this was a scam...we were able to cancel the transaction before he received the funds. Thank you for this website!

I am very grateful to the people who have posted their stories on here. It truly helped me before I got in too deep. I have recently joined christian mingle and the emails I am receiving are suspiciously alike. I was perplexed why they all seem to be coming from foreigners. It is obvious because their written words are not spoken like someone who speaks the language. It really annoys me that they are permitted to get on these sites and prey on innocent unsuspecting people. I recently received an email from someone who sounded to good to be true and was extremely handsome. I responded back and then poof, his profile is gone but he sent an email to my personal address. I have given my personal email to 3 men and they all sound exremely similar. I will nip this in the bud before it starts. But I did do a reverse email trace on the most recent guy and the email was registered but I was not going to pay to get the information. This is the latest email I received from him to give you an idea what they say:

"thanks for writing me, I`m glad you find the time to write me, hope you are having a nice time.
Well my name is Daniel Vincent, I am a single parent to my little 12 years old daughter who means so much to me. I am easy going and honest man with lots to offer to life. I lost my wife 6 years ago and life have been so cure with me after the death of my wife, I have been so lonely, I have just decided to move on with life. I am a Very Passionate, Honest, Loving, Out Going Man, who knows who he is.. I am old enough to know what I want, and don't want in Life and Young enough to still go after it LOL.. I am very Happy being me.. I don't like drama, I like people who are happy in life and in themselves.. I Love Nature and love being out camping and enjoying the beauty that surrounds us... I am Single, and still looking for that special woman to share my life with.. Waiting for a woman who appreciates a Good man and will not take that for granted.. I am a Christian man who Loves The Lord and wants a Woman with a heart for God as well..

I will like to get to know you more. Hope you don't mind.
I hope to hear from u soon. Daniel..,"

There are plenty of red flags in this email. He obviously is not who he claims to be. if we are going to use these sites we have to be on guard, ask specific questions and NEVER EVER given anyone money. That is one sure way to tell they are up to no good.

Good luck to all and not everyone on this site is a scammer.