Need an opinion about long distance/if scam

Ok, Im not sure what details to use. I was on match.com and came across this person who uses a chat app. I found out later they are from a poor country and poor city.

We have only been chatting for a short time. In all fairness she was honest at the very start about what they wanted. A family, marriage in US but engagement in her country.

We talk everyday and have skyped when she can get on wifi.
While on skype I have met her work place which is small. Less than 10 people or about... In fact Im not really sure what she does as it always seems like the work place is empty. She keeps saying I am an assistant. Its like a school but very few kids (1-2 that I have seen). Ive skyped w/2 of her friends but communication was very difficult w/them do to language barrier and accent. Her and I do well but Im use to her voice and the way she talks.

She leaves voice messages daily which I return in kind. Generally while I am sleeping or she is asleep.

Mom lives away and she stays with a friend and father died. I have a picture of his grave stone. She has facebook but when I found her she was still showing "engaged" but I was told he is no longer in the picture. After this she gave me her facebook info but I somehow locked the account. She no longer has facebook. She is on instagram and only tweets music links nothing else. Even added me and my dog on her instagram. Nothing real personal like my family or anything.

So whats the issue? Quick to want to marry/fall in love. Im not saying it does not happen as my sister and her husband were engaged in 2 months, very happy relationship and 2 kids. My grandpa asked my grandma to marry on the first date and lived a long and for the most part happy life.

Request for money to prepare an engagement. 2,000 USD which is a ton of money there and I rejected. She didn't seem all happy but said it was ok all that really mattered was me coming to visit her. Money to travel to embassy. This is what I don't understand. Maybe I should ask but I think a buss travels to the city. She wants me to pay for her and a friend to company her by plan. Its not much money for me, $300`$500 or so. hum, "I don't want you to come until all the paper work is done because it will be expensive for multiple trips.

I asked about just getting married there and it was "I want the blessing of a US marriage".
While I was in the hospital she said she wanted to come see me and to send her money to buy a plan ticket as it would be cheaper for her to buy. This is when I said hold up.... 3rd time asking for money. I get it. She makes $10 a/week USD unless she gets money from her other job which is a paid hobby but requires people to pay her.

The only address I have does not go directly to her but I guess like an apartment. I asked to just come visit but she does not want me wasting money. If she does not want me wasting money why not the buss? It does take a lot longer and personally I wouldn't want to do it. Still.... she didn't even offer.

I am already plagued w/trust issues. I don't care about the money as much as getting embarrassed and hurt. Seems so real at times but idk other times I question. I have tons of chat history. I don't record skype but I have all voice messages and chat history. idk guess Im just looking for an opinion. I worry it will be lost money and emotional investment of time. If that works out I worry it will be for green card. If it works out she would be an amazing wife and not much I wouldn't do for her. Still at times I question. Maybe its right to question. Ive been scammed a few times before, didn't lose any money and didn't give out much info less my cell phone which is in a company name not personal. Most are so easy to detect. I don't have lots of money and limited on vacation time because I have surgery set up next year. Before I go waste $500 on marriage visa and $500 sent to her and her friend for traveling (if thats all she request of me) and $3,000 on flight. Plus the price of an engagement ring which she does not like anything flashy. The price range I was looking into was way to much money she said we needed to plan for the future. Later she said just surprise her, and I have good taste...Still 30day return policy. I have to order the ring custom due to her finger size which is small. don't want this to be about money but all that I have to plan so far is adding up really fast. Before I start spending I just wanted an opinion.

Is she Filipino?

She is from indionsia

Indonesia is not a visa waiver country. Young girls looking to get married usually cannot get a visa to the US because the US thinks that they will get married and violate the terms of the visa. To get married, you have to visit her, submit proof that you have met, and apply for a fiancée visa; or visit her, get married there, and apply for a visa to bring her here. You haven't met and she's asking for money to come here, so she's a scammer. Cut off all contact and don't tell her why.

If you want to marry someone from overseas, go there yourself or sign up with an international marriage agency. You probably won't find her on a general dating site.

BW, I had the exact same thought as I was reading the OP. ( Except it is FilipinA, not FilipinO -- o is masculine and a is feminine since the language has some Spanish mixed in with it).

welcome to scamwarners, Daveins. You have to do what is best for you at all times. So ask yourself, what would I do if I found "X" to be true, or "Y" to be true.



Registration is free, just like here.

I should add in after seeing VX's post he is absolutely right. Rule #1 is anyone you have never met face to face before and only have contact with on the internet is a scammer as soon as they ask for money.

Still go see dragon ladies for more information about what is fact and fiction about Asian cultures and customs.

Thanks, after posting this I pressed the issue of visiting a few times. I guess worst case I end up in a country on vacation. I have a friend in Thailand I can visit if it goes badly. I've been trying to visit him for the last 2 years anyways.

Referring to Nationality. And trying to get a dialog since vague on country. Either way he can be a she.

I was concerned if it was a pinay or pro dater.

You and Vx did a great job in replying once known which country.

BW, I had the exact same thought as I was reading the OP. ( Except it is FilipinA, not FilipinO -- o is masculine and a is feminine since the language has some Spanish mixed in with it).

Before I go waste $500 on marriage visa

I just noticed this in the OP and need to correct you, DaveIns. That original $500 is for the very first form only ( i-129 or i-129f).

By the time she will actually arrive in the US you will have spent close to, if not in excess of $2000 for all of the required US Gov't paperwork alone. This is exclusive of airfare / travel ( of your choice) for her to the US. And depending on if you are bringing a wife or a fiancee back will determine how many different forms you need to file and be approved on, there are zero guarantees of any acceptance to the US, even if she is your wife ( all though it is highly unlikely a family member such as a wife would be refused).

Research well, amigo. Gov't stuff is confusing as it can be, but a good place to start is
http://travel.state.gov/content/visas/e ... e-k-1.html to see everything you will be getting involved with.

Either way he can be a she.

you sure you haven't been dealing with too many of those pinoy "lady boys", BW??

I was concerned if it was a pinay or pro dater.

I thought so, and it is very hard to tell the 2 apart sometimes. That is why I suggested what I did.

You and Vx did a great job in replying once known which country.

Thank you very much, sire. sometimes the attaboys are the best reward we can get, and are very appreciated.

Either way he can be a she.

you sure you haven't been dealing with too many of those pinoy "lady boys", BW??

Many years ago, before I even knew about romance scams (but this one was Slavic, not Romance), I was contacted by someone from Udmurtia who found my profile on a dating site. I knew enough Russian to switch the conversation to Russian. She wrote "Я никогда не был женат." At that point I knew there were two possibilities: she's an Udmurt who hasn't mastered the Russian gender system (Udmurt, like other Uralic languages, has no gender), or she's a he. So I asked her to teach me Udmurt. She refused, saying the language is dangerous. (She had switched back to machine-translated English, probably confusing one of her other marks by switching to Russian.) Conclusion: this woman in Udmurtia was a character played by a man. I caught him in another lie (that he had learned English and German and forgotten the German), told him I could not afford to fly to Udmurtia (which was true), and never heard from him again.

[AlanJones]

" ...
I'd suggest to you to copy and paste that post over at [Removed AJ], they specialize in Asian scams
[Removed AJ]

Registration is free, just like here. ..."

I want to bring people up to date on some strange things that have happened starting in about mid to late March, 2016 (or around that time) to the web site 'dragon ladies dot org' and its equivalent 'www dot d l dot org'. I have been a member there for several years and they have been a valuable resource (for many years) for those wondering about Chinese or Filipina individuals they have met on-line, or for victims of scammers or fakes from these two groups. Initially, so in early April, if you went to that URL you got only a message from the company hosting the site that requested the owner(s) of that domain to contact them. Then a few days ago (so about mid April) the domain name now has been taken over by a sneaky web site that is largely a promotion for various on-line dating sites. Clicking on the several 'scam' buttons take you either no-where, back to where you were, or to some crude results from what I assume is a Google search any fool could do.
I have no inside information about what has happened and whether the original web site and forums will ever resurface but for the moment that domain is totally worthless for trying to get info about Asian women scammers, etc. I think that is important for people to know.

[AlanJones]

Thanks for posting DSpencer, it appears that the hosting for the site may not have been renewed and the domain is now parked and displaying adverts.