by Concerned_Son
Thu May 19, 2016 12:57 pm
A few weeks back my father joined Match.com via a 3-month promotional offer. He's 55, divorced for 8 years, hasn't had so much as a coffee date in that entire time, also he's had an email address for only about a year - this context is to reveal that he's not internet savvy or even aware that romance scams exist, and lonely.
About a week in he started chatting with a "woman". This went along for over a week before he even mentioned it to me. I told him to just be cautious because you can't be sure of who you are chatting with.
He tells me she's a Norwegian national living in the US. Her father was a miner in Ghana who died in a car accident, but her mother still lives there(in Ghana, really?)
Red flags go up all over the place for me but as long as this person isn't asking for money I tell him, then just proceed with caution.
A few days go by and my sisters calls me saying that the woman is flying up to meet my Dad over that weekend. I'm skeptical but l don't think anything of it. After the weekend I call my father to ask how his weekend went and he told me the woman had to cancel because her mother suddenly got sick and had to Ghana.
Oh boy.
Don't send her a dime! I tell him.
Two days later he tells me he's contemplating buying her a ticket from Ghana to the US. I'm shocked and have troubling conveying to him over the phone that this person isn't real and to NOT buy the ticket.
He says he hired a PI($350) to look into her. A few hours after we get off the phone he calls to tell me the PI confirmed my and my sisters suspicions. Not a real person.
I had a trip planned to see him so I fly out 48 hours after this happens.
My dad over the next 24 hours after I arrive begins to unfold the story about how he had already sent her $750, and had paid for the initial flight for her to see him(the hook) the previous weekend. Obviously he is embarrassed but I console him and tell him he's not stupid, it happens more often than he could realize.
During this trip he's still using Match.com, I'm trying to give him advice etc.. He starts chatting one morning with someone who claims to live 3 hours away in their profile.
Later than night were watching TV and he hits me with this: "She's currently working for a bio firm in Nigeria"
I sit up straight, and burst out a nervous laugh, almost hysterical. I immediately feel bad for the laugh because I know this is a scammer right away. But he won't hear any of that. He doesn't think it's a scam....
Signs of a new scam
Beautiful woman contacts my 55 year old dad out of the blue
Only 2 family members, a Dad and a daughter
Profile Said US, actually in Nigeria
Sends HUGE email after 24 hours with tons of personal email.
Doesn't respond directly to my Dad's inquiries.
We just had this blow out argument. His defense was "she hasn't asked me for money"
I yell "that's because she hasn't hooked you yet."
I get inflamed and storm out of the room.
Now I am writing this post.
What can I do to help him?
Obviously I want my father to find love and be happy but he's so green when it comes to online dating that before he finds a real person his trust towards this kind of "dating" will be tarnished beyond repair.
I tried to suggest only conctacting locals but he says they never respond.
He only seems to communicate with beautiful women who contact him initially.
He's already evaded two other scammers since I've been with him this week(one from Russia, and one from New York).
Unfortunately for them they claimed to be under the age of 40 and my father refuses to entertain the idea of someone under the age of 40.
About a week in he started chatting with a "woman". This went along for over a week before he even mentioned it to me. I told him to just be cautious because you can't be sure of who you are chatting with.
He tells me she's a Norwegian national living in the US. Her father was a miner in Ghana who died in a car accident, but her mother still lives there(in Ghana, really?)
Red flags go up all over the place for me but as long as this person isn't asking for money I tell him, then just proceed with caution.
A few days go by and my sisters calls me saying that the woman is flying up to meet my Dad over that weekend. I'm skeptical but l don't think anything of it. After the weekend I call my father to ask how his weekend went and he told me the woman had to cancel because her mother suddenly got sick and had to Ghana.
Oh boy.
Don't send her a dime! I tell him.
Two days later he tells me he's contemplating buying her a ticket from Ghana to the US. I'm shocked and have troubling conveying to him over the phone that this person isn't real and to NOT buy the ticket.
He says he hired a PI($350) to look into her. A few hours after we get off the phone he calls to tell me the PI confirmed my and my sisters suspicions. Not a real person.
I had a trip planned to see him so I fly out 48 hours after this happens.
My dad over the next 24 hours after I arrive begins to unfold the story about how he had already sent her $750, and had paid for the initial flight for her to see him(the hook) the previous weekend. Obviously he is embarrassed but I console him and tell him he's not stupid, it happens more often than he could realize.
During this trip he's still using Match.com, I'm trying to give him advice etc.. He starts chatting one morning with someone who claims to live 3 hours away in their profile.
Later than night were watching TV and he hits me with this: "She's currently working for a bio firm in Nigeria"
I sit up straight, and burst out a nervous laugh, almost hysterical. I immediately feel bad for the laugh because I know this is a scammer right away. But he won't hear any of that. He doesn't think it's a scam....
Signs of a new scam
Beautiful woman contacts my 55 year old dad out of the blue
Only 2 family members, a Dad and a daughter
Profile Said US, actually in Nigeria
Sends HUGE email after 24 hours with tons of personal email.
Doesn't respond directly to my Dad's inquiries.
We just had this blow out argument. His defense was "she hasn't asked me for money"
I yell "that's because she hasn't hooked you yet."
I get inflamed and storm out of the room.
Now I am writing this post.
What can I do to help him?
Obviously I want my father to find love and be happy but he's so green when it comes to online dating that before he finds a real person his trust towards this kind of "dating" will be tarnished beyond repair.
I tried to suggest only conctacting locals but he says they never respond.
He only seems to communicate with beautiful women who contact him initially.
He's already evaded two other scammers since I've been with him this week(one from Russia, and one from New York).
Unfortunately for them they claimed to be under the age of 40 and my father refuses to entertain the idea of someone under the age of 40.
