wish I knew about romance scammers before I lost alot of $$$

[email protected]


Boy was he smooth and do I feel stupid. Found on match.com His story is he is a widower with a 12 yr old daughter (I thought I even spoke to). Wife dead from breast cancer. Both parents killed in a car accident. He is Hungarian but after parents death he moves to US where he meets his wife

Construction Engineer from Houston, he left shortly after I meet him for a job in Cape town. Hired local workers, safety trained them, he finds out he has to pay taxes before job starts (usually you pay after job is finished) job starts, a few weeks later a major piece of equipment breaks and they need to bring in an engineer from Dubai to fix it $$, some injuries but none too serious but it is his job to pay $$ their hospital bills.

He and his daughter both not feeling well, think it is due to the different food.

He gets his mid pay cheque plus they agreed to pay for the repairs. "we will be laughing with the money they are paying him"

The workers stop working because he has not paid them yet, but the only way he can do that is to get back to Houston and cash this cheque. He is short of money $$$ to fly them back and his daughter hates it there and wants to come and stay with me when he goes back to finish the job.

Up to this point he has a Cape town cell phone number and a Houston number. I can call him anytime day or night and he answers, he also sends me the address of where he is staying and I find it on satellite map. I find his Houston address but it is not as he described.

Red flags but he has a believable explanation for everything, sooooooo smooth it is unbelievable I believed him, even now.

They fly to Johannesburg, but they refuse to let her board the next flight to USA as she was so sick on the first flight from Cape town to Joberg. He has no money for the hospital they are sleeping in the airport until more $$. Finally she is in hospital and they diagnose her with malaria but she needs medication and a blood transfusion - he is tested and does not match her so they need to buy blood (very $$$ there due to all the aids)

He leaves her in the hospital and flies to Houston (he calls to let me know he is boarding and again when he arrives in Houston) so that he can get the money needed to finish the job, pay the workers and send me my money. He gets there to find his bank account is frozen due to a bounced cheque from his previous job. He then gets news that his daughter dies and he sells his "jewelleries" and returns to Joberg. I question why he would go back without money but he is so distressed, he is not thinking properly. Now he has no money to bring her body back to US or to cremate her $$$.

On his return, he no longer has his laptop (he had to sell it for extra cash) and has no cell phone.
I send more money. I am now at the point where I have exhausted everything I can, he continues to call for a few more days and I am finally now questioning and ask him about certain things. He still calls for few days and then suddenly stops. His last words "I love you, talk to you tomorrow morning"

I am now emotionally and financially broken and can not believe me who I thought was very intelligent and usually questions everything could get caught in a mess like this. It will take me the rest of my working days to maybe recover the lost monies

Hope this helps someone else from being caught in his lies.

Welcome Wentworth,

I'm sorry to hear you were scammed. Unfortunately, what you describe is textbook scam format. These scammers have a lot of practice and know what you want to hear, and they won't hesitate to lie in any way necessary to get your money.

Don't be surprised if he turns up again, trying to continue where he left off, pretending nothing happened (or pretending he was in an accident) and still playing the same role. Or he may approach differently and try apologizing and "confessing" (The so-called confession is ultimately more lies to get money from you), or even threatening or attempting to blackmail you. These are all common tactics from these scammers--and they do have a tendency to return to former victims when they are low on promising victims. Also, be prepared for a recovery scam, in which you are approached by someone who claims they can get your money back and/or your scammer arrested. Often they will claim to be in law enforcement. Sadly, this too will be your scammer or an accomplice, and again the only goal is to get more money from you. If he does attempt to contact you or you are approached by a recovery scammer, just ignore it and don't respond at all. It's tempting to confront him out of anger and try to make him feel guilty, but the truth is, he has no conscience, and he is not going to feel guilt--the only thing confronting him will do is increase his feeling of power over you.

Hello Wentworth
Thank you for the post because it will be a warning to others.
<re: Boy was he smooth and do I feel stupid.>
Scammers are very good at what they do and even though you may be feeling low at the moment, please don't think of yourself as stupid. It is not stupid or wrong to care or have feelings for another. It's not your fault the other party is a fraudulent liar. Scammers do not have a conscious and are only interested in fleecing money from their victim. By ceasing all contact, the individual will leave you alone.
The downside of course, is they just move onto another victim.

[email protected] (Trevor Mills) on Seniormatch.com - a new one just found yesterday

see posted emails from David Willams they match Trevor Mills exactly, except Trevor is from Simmion Island Georgia and has a son John - 25 years old

Welcome here wentworth, although i whish it was in better circomstances.

Just as jolly roger said, you are not stupid. Experianced love scammers know exactly how to play with the feelings of their victims, and your scammer is one of those. I'm sorry you lost all that money on him, but you were smart enough to eventually recognise the scam. As the others said, be aware of recovery scams or even thesame scammer trying to squeeze even more money out of you. Usually when they have a paying victim, they won't let go.

OMG, your guy sounds very, very similar to the one that scammed me, I dont know how much you lost but he got me fo 10K. Also met him on Match.com, had a picture like a model. Said he was from Norway, parents dead, wife dead, had a daughter 8 or 12, cant remember, got malaria and died in a hospital in London, was an engineer, had to leave on a job to London shortly after we met, took himself off the site, kept saying he was rich from his parents estate but it was tied up with the lawyer in Norway, like millions, said he wanted to take care of me, but same as you, things were going wrong with his job, needed money for this and that, and he would pay me back, he was coming to houston as soon as he got everything taken care of, talked to a couple of friends, red flags everywhere, but such a smooth talker, wrote poems, very believable with all the questions I asked, had a good answer to all of them, I also felt absolutely stupid and ashamed to have let myself fall for this when part of me was doubting & part of me wanting to believe. I was so hurt, and did not find this site until it was too late, then when I checked his IP after I had sent all this money to him, he was working out of Nigeria. I too am paying the financial price. All this to say hold yr head up, and just keep saying to yourself that these kind of people will get theirs in life or death one day, bc God does not like ugly, and we must move on and get pass what they did to us.

read th info i sent to kirabi all wer trying o do is find a real nice person guess they have to hit you overthe head because we all are getting scammed and dont trust any one anymore

I have been recently contacted by the one Trevor Mills, of Seniorsmatch.com, states he live in Simion Island GA, with one son and wife died. I have suspected that he was a scammer, from the moment I heard his voice, and the love letters began.
He has recently began to tell me briefly about a meeting with his bank manager and a problem he's having financially. I have not reponded to those conversations, but wished him well. He tells me he's coming to visit me in Toronto and he wants to stay in the best hotel, so I gave him the contact info for the hotel. He has told me how much he wants to take care of me and make me his wife. That he's wealthy with a Tacoma, a Bentley, and I believe a Toyota. His son lives in UK with his girlfriend. He is ready to retire from his construction business and relocate to where I live. He's also very busy right now helping a friend, Larry whose wife left him because he lost his job, that he has to help this friend because he's all he has. I have not been asked for any money yet, but I felt that would be next. He emails and calls me daily, and he's just so in love with me and we've never met. He photoshopped a picture of me into a frame with a picture supposedly of him holding the frame.
He stated he has parents of Italian and English background and was born in UK. he kept telling me before we spoke that he has a strong accent. I was suspicious then. When we spoke I asked him where his accent was from, he failed to answer, I asked in an email twice, he again did not answer.
I'm glad that I decided to get membership to research this person. I'm sorry to hear about those that have lost their hard earned money to such a person. I wish Gods blessing to return unto you 100%

Dear All

I am shocked to see this entire story played out over and over. It is exactly the same thing that happened to me. 47 year old marine engineer from the US with a daughter who is 7 (who I thought I spoke to as well), wife and parents dead. He has a sister who had to move to India with her husband who is dying (spoke to "sister" as well). Went to Scotland to work, got paid, but needed money to release cheque, then more money to open an account (fake account also created and I accessed it). Wanted to marry me and take care of me. Oh my word, even though this has happened to so many people I am still in shock. Everyone warned me but no, I knew better. What a fool.

Thank you so much for opening my eyes. He is still in contact with me, even though I try to stop contact with him. He calls and calls, "crying" over the phone. i mean seriously, how could someone use the story of a child. They have no conscience. The worst of it all is that your trust in people is completely destroyed. You can move on but its never the same.

I just want to say thank you for this site though. It is really good being able to talk about it with people who know what I am going through.

Welcome femmect,

I'm sorry to hear you were scammed. As you said, your scam followed the typical course of a romance scam. The scammers continue to follow the same routine because it works (they succeed in getting money from it).

Unfortunately, these scammers truly have no conscience. They will not hesitate to use a child (real or imaginary) in their scams. They will even talk to victims' children, and convince them that they are coming over to be their new daddy--without even a moment of concern for the devastation the child feels when it doesn't happen. They use children because they have learned that the role of single, dedicated father makes them look more sympathetic. Lies come to them more easily than the truth, and there is honestly no limit to what they will say or do without hesitation.

The scammer will continue to harass you and tell any lies he thinks might get more money from you. If they think it will work, some of them even "confess" to being scammers and tell you they are stopping because they love you. In reality, the "confession will still be filled with lies, and the ultimate goal is to convince you to send money for another reason, usually because they will then claim to be starving because they aren't scamming any more and have no money. Some of them will also turn nasty when they realize you really aren't going to pay, and will threaten you. The best thing you can do is take aggressive measures to break contact with him.

Block him on your messenger account, and have your email filter him to spam (better yet, change your email address, and see if you can change your ID on any dating sites). Talk to your phone provider about whether there is a way to block any calls. If you see his number or any suspicious number, don't answer--or if you answer, just hang up immediately.

Watch out for recovery scams, in which you are approached by someone supposedly from law enforcement who wants to help get him arrested and help you to get your money back. Your scammer will be behind this also. He has no problem using promises of getting your money back in order to try steal even more from you.

If you are willing, please post his first few emails, or forward them to myself or another member of our support team for posting, so we can warn others about this scammer, and don't hesitate to ask questions.

Hi Dotti

Thank you so much for your advice. He contacted me again last night and I told him to leave me alone. I will be contacting my cellular provider today to ask about blocking numbers but when he calls it is an unknown number so I might just change my cellular number completely. This man is seriously freaking me out.

I will however send all the e-mails and various details to you and you can see what you can use.

Once again, I cannot thank you enough for this website. I feel like I can get through this now.

hello wentworth..
i am shirley ... i just had been scammed yesterday.. or is actually for a months ago but i never realize that.
maybe i am naive but this happen really got me a HARD Leason to me...
i am lost about 1200 usd money. all my money is gone by this scammers, i meet him at myspace web, i first tought that he would make a friend with me so i had been chatt at yahoo messenger is about three months now since october 2010. i am really stupid that not realize that i had been scammed. so stupid i think!
yesterday i realize that, becoz i have receive a weird email sent my name Janet elizabeth adeleke. that sounds told that the money was i sent is gone. that make me SHOCK until today too...
Yessss I think I had been scammed right know!! I am so stupid that believe all what thay guy said to me
His name is DANIEL R DOUGLAS
He said is from usa and hopeless.. becoz get stuck at nigeria with no hope.
He even get created a profile at myspace name Daniel live at AMA lousiana.
He gaave me 2 address:
No 105 kostamayer, slidell, louisana..

No 1749 Bertrand Drive. Lafayette, LA slidell 70506 Red Lerille, Bodybuilder.
Phone number : 1-985-649-3000
And his number at nigeria is +2348084278397
I already sent him total money is 1200usd... I get bankrupt now!!!
I am so so stupid now!!!!!!
i alerady check that address is fake, not a house but a couple of buliding.

He have friends name Janet elizabeth adeleke
NAME : JANET ELIZABETH ADELEKE
??COUNTRY : NIGERIA
??STATE : LAGOS
??CITY : IKEJA
??ADRESSS :12 KOLADE STREET
ZIPCODE : 23401
??phone : +2347036568562

[email protected]
All of you must be carefull of this two persons...
Now my money is gone and never comeback again..
I have to move on today!!! I feel I want to cry but I cant anymore...
This is a big leason to me... I already report that two person to usa goverment about fraud by nigeria
I hope they will get an action...
I already check that two addres that Daniel give me is just a fake..
A builiding not a house.. And the second adress is aa company Thomas pump and maachinery..
Didi you belive that???
I am sick about those guys today...
Just becarefull if you meet this guys...

if any of you ever been meet this guy, get an action for him! not belive him.. he already got my feelings and my money too....Thanks i can be sharing...