by Chatanuga
Sat Jun 24, 2017 4:43 pm
So a little over a week ago, I was on Recon.com, a website I frequently go on to meet other guys. I came across a newer profile for a guy using the name Carllove and checked it out. Said he was 43. I didn't message or cruise him on the site, but shortly afterwards, I got a message from him. We had some similar interests and messaged each other a few times. He seemed like a nice guy, and didn't give any signs of trouble.
Things hit off pretty well between us, and we exchanged phone numbers so we could text each other since he wasn't able to readily get to the site. He gave me the number 818-273-1670, which came up on my phone as a California number
He said that his name was Carl Anderson. He was 43 and from San Francisco. Said he joined a military academy at the age of 20 and was now an E-6 staff sergeant and mechanical engineer stationed over in the army over in Kabul. His mom had been a teacher, and his dad had worked in the medical field in the Army. He said that both of his parents had died and that about 2 years ago his partner had passed away from cancer. Since then, he'd been single and trying to find the right guy to start a relationship again.
We talked about our past love experiences. He wanted a monogamous relationship, which is what I wanted as well. While we talked a little about what we liked in bed, unlike past guys who wanted only to get in bed, Carl seemed to be genuinely interested in me and my life. We talked about my family's background and how my dad and his side of the family had a lot of veterans, favorite colors, food, what I did for a living, spirituality, tattoos, what hobbies and pasttimes we enjoyed, sports, etc. He said he was getting good feelings from me, and I was feeling like he was genuinely interested in me. We both said we wanted to get to know each other more. He told me he was going to be returning to the US before long (didn't know when), and when he did, he was wanting to come to Ohio to meet me. He said that if things worked out between us, he'd like to build a relationship with me.
So, here I am, having just turned 43 and single my whole life and having had nothing but trouble trying to start relationships in the past, even getting called ugly by some guys. I honestly had no red flag issues with this guy like I did with a flight attendant I'd met back in April and May who not only gave me the runaround but had double accounts on Facebook and on other sites. Granted there was a couple times when I wondered if something was up but dismissed them. At one point, he asked if I drove. Since he was from San Francisco, I thought he was possibly like some folks in big cities who don't own a vehicle to get around. There were a couple other times he would ask "What have you for breakfast?" It wasn't consistent with that though, and I figured it was his autocomplete or something on his phone.
So, believing the guy was genuine, kept talking with me. He'd text me in the evenings, asking how my day went, texting me when he said he just got back in from patrol. He started calling me "honey", which I didn't mind and found kind of sweet. I'd been undergoing a bad depression for a while now (diagnosed with cyclothymia years ago) with stress at work due to a large merger, trying to get my own business at home going, family troubles, having to get a new PC due to my old Windows XP PC getting too out of date to safely use online, trying to get my life in order, and then the jerk I'd met back in April/May. The dark clouds of my depression had lifted since talking to "Carl", literally feeling loved and that my life finally had a purpose. I felt I now know why past relationships had failed, and it was so that I could be here for when "Carl" came home. People at work even noticed that my mood had made a dramatic turn for the better and were asking what was up.
At one point, I asked him if he could send a pic of himself, and on Thursday, he sent me this one.
I noticed that he had a wedding ring on, but since he'd lost his partner only two years ago, I figured he just hadn't stopped wearing it.
Thursday evening, he asked if I minded sending him a care package (body wash, deodorant, mints, cookies, socks, mouthwash, etc.). Since he'd completely won my trust and was going to be getting groceries after work the next day, I told him I could get what I could of the items for him. A friend of mine who I used to work with has a husband who was in the Marines over there, and, being close friends with them, I knew a bit about the conditions over there. He also mentioned having an old cell phone and asked if I could afford to get him a new one. I told him I couldn't and that picking out a phone should be up to him to choose what he likes. He said not to worry about it, and we kept texting for a couple more hours or so.
On Friday, "Carl" sent me the following verse that morning:
God smiled at me just this morning thru the rising sunrays. I'm sharing the same courtesy with you by sending you a warm smile that your heart can feel even without seeing. Of all the smiles you received today, there was a smile you didn't see. A smile not from the lips, but straight from the heart - a smile that came from me.
I thought it was very sweet and shared it with a friend of mine. She thought it was sweet too, but she wondered where he got that. I wasn't sure and didn't think about it. After work, I got groceries, and about half of the stuff in my cart was for "Carl", happy to know that I was helping him out. He texted me some shortly after getting home and getting groceries put away. I put everything together in my office and burned a CD of love songs that I wanted to send along for him.
Just before bed, I got curious about what my friend had said about where the verse had come from that morning. I did a Google search, and that's when I found this site and saw experiences of others whose stories mirrored my experience with "Carl", only the names/details changing. I started feeling sick, knowing that after the crap I went through with the last guy, here I was falling for a scammer. Still, I wondered if it could possibly be coincidence. I texted him and asked him where he had gotten the verse, even though by that point I pretty much knew what was up.
This morning, he texted me again, saying he wasn't sure what I meant and that he would never do anything to hurt us. I didn't reply to him. About 40 minutes later, he texted me again, saying that our chemistry was all that mattered.
Thankfully I still have my close friends who have been helping me through this. A friend of mine down in North Carolina even called me when I posted what happened on Facebook. All of the items I'd bought for "Carl" were unopened, and the card hadn't been written in. So all of that went back to the store this afternoon, getting me $97 back. Fortunately, the only personal information the creep has of me is only my first name and phone number. He never got my home address, credit card information, etc. With taking the stuff back to the store and getting a refund, there's no financial loss. The only two losses for me now are the hopes that I'd finally found Mr. Right and that if some good looking guy comes onto me again in the near future, even if he's being sincere, because I'm now so on-guard about others' motivations, how am I to know if he's being sincere or not?
Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night. Today I've been rotating between breaking down in tears, wanting to explode in anger and start breaking things, or just being calm and not wanting to do anything. I look at the pics of the guy I fell in love with and start to get angry with him, but then I realize that the guy in those three pics is most likely not even the guy who'd texted me as is just as much a victim as I was since the scammer is using his pics to fool people. While I know I would probably never have a relationship with the guy since he'd probably straight, I do wish I could find him to let him know about how his pics are getting used.
Things hit off pretty well between us, and we exchanged phone numbers so we could text each other since he wasn't able to readily get to the site. He gave me the number 818-273-1670, which came up on my phone as a California number
He said that his name was Carl Anderson. He was 43 and from San Francisco. Said he joined a military academy at the age of 20 and was now an E-6 staff sergeant and mechanical engineer stationed over in the army over in Kabul. His mom had been a teacher, and his dad had worked in the medical field in the Army. He said that both of his parents had died and that about 2 years ago his partner had passed away from cancer. Since then, he'd been single and trying to find the right guy to start a relationship again.
We talked about our past love experiences. He wanted a monogamous relationship, which is what I wanted as well. While we talked a little about what we liked in bed, unlike past guys who wanted only to get in bed, Carl seemed to be genuinely interested in me and my life. We talked about my family's background and how my dad and his side of the family had a lot of veterans, favorite colors, food, what I did for a living, spirituality, tattoos, what hobbies and pasttimes we enjoyed, sports, etc. He said he was getting good feelings from me, and I was feeling like he was genuinely interested in me. We both said we wanted to get to know each other more. He told me he was going to be returning to the US before long (didn't know when), and when he did, he was wanting to come to Ohio to meet me. He said that if things worked out between us, he'd like to build a relationship with me.
So, here I am, having just turned 43 and single my whole life and having had nothing but trouble trying to start relationships in the past, even getting called ugly by some guys. I honestly had no red flag issues with this guy like I did with a flight attendant I'd met back in April and May who not only gave me the runaround but had double accounts on Facebook and on other sites. Granted there was a couple times when I wondered if something was up but dismissed them. At one point, he asked if I drove. Since he was from San Francisco, I thought he was possibly like some folks in big cities who don't own a vehicle to get around. There were a couple other times he would ask "What have you for breakfast?" It wasn't consistent with that though, and I figured it was his autocomplete or something on his phone.
So, believing the guy was genuine, kept talking with me. He'd text me in the evenings, asking how my day went, texting me when he said he just got back in from patrol. He started calling me "honey", which I didn't mind and found kind of sweet. I'd been undergoing a bad depression for a while now (diagnosed with cyclothymia years ago) with stress at work due to a large merger, trying to get my own business at home going, family troubles, having to get a new PC due to my old Windows XP PC getting too out of date to safely use online, trying to get my life in order, and then the jerk I'd met back in April/May. The dark clouds of my depression had lifted since talking to "Carl", literally feeling loved and that my life finally had a purpose. I felt I now know why past relationships had failed, and it was so that I could be here for when "Carl" came home. People at work even noticed that my mood had made a dramatic turn for the better and were asking what was up.
At one point, I asked him if he could send a pic of himself, and on Thursday, he sent me this one.
I noticed that he had a wedding ring on, but since he'd lost his partner only two years ago, I figured he just hadn't stopped wearing it.
Thursday evening, he asked if I minded sending him a care package (body wash, deodorant, mints, cookies, socks, mouthwash, etc.). Since he'd completely won my trust and was going to be getting groceries after work the next day, I told him I could get what I could of the items for him. A friend of mine who I used to work with has a husband who was in the Marines over there, and, being close friends with them, I knew a bit about the conditions over there. He also mentioned having an old cell phone and asked if I could afford to get him a new one. I told him I couldn't and that picking out a phone should be up to him to choose what he likes. He said not to worry about it, and we kept texting for a couple more hours or so.
On Friday, "Carl" sent me the following verse that morning:
God smiled at me just this morning thru the rising sunrays. I'm sharing the same courtesy with you by sending you a warm smile that your heart can feel even without seeing. Of all the smiles you received today, there was a smile you didn't see. A smile not from the lips, but straight from the heart - a smile that came from me.
I thought it was very sweet and shared it with a friend of mine. She thought it was sweet too, but she wondered where he got that. I wasn't sure and didn't think about it. After work, I got groceries, and about half of the stuff in my cart was for "Carl", happy to know that I was helping him out. He texted me some shortly after getting home and getting groceries put away. I put everything together in my office and burned a CD of love songs that I wanted to send along for him.
Just before bed, I got curious about what my friend had said about where the verse had come from that morning. I did a Google search, and that's when I found this site and saw experiences of others whose stories mirrored my experience with "Carl", only the names/details changing. I started feeling sick, knowing that after the crap I went through with the last guy, here I was falling for a scammer. Still, I wondered if it could possibly be coincidence. I texted him and asked him where he had gotten the verse, even though by that point I pretty much knew what was up.
This morning, he texted me again, saying he wasn't sure what I meant and that he would never do anything to hurt us. I didn't reply to him. About 40 minutes later, he texted me again, saying that our chemistry was all that mattered.
Thankfully I still have my close friends who have been helping me through this. A friend of mine down in North Carolina even called me when I posted what happened on Facebook. All of the items I'd bought for "Carl" were unopened, and the card hadn't been written in. So all of that went back to the store this afternoon, getting me $97 back. Fortunately, the only personal information the creep has of me is only my first name and phone number. He never got my home address, credit card information, etc. With taking the stuff back to the store and getting a refund, there's no financial loss. The only two losses for me now are the hopes that I'd finally found Mr. Right and that if some good looking guy comes onto me again in the near future, even if he's being sincere, because I'm now so on-guard about others' motivations, how am I to know if he's being sincere or not?
Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night. Today I've been rotating between breaking down in tears, wanting to explode in anger and start breaking things, or just being calm and not wanting to do anything. I look at the pics of the guy I fell in love with and start to get angry with him, but then I realize that the guy in those three pics is most likely not even the guy who'd texted me as is just as much a victim as I was since the scammer is using his pics to fool people. While I know I would probably never have a relationship with the guy since he'd probably straight, I do wish I could find him to let him know about how his pics are getting used.
