Gay Romance Scammer Re-contacts me/What's up?

I ceased communication with a lad from Eastern Europe about a month ago when I suspected he was a scammer. I didn't have any definitive proof and he had not yet asked me for money - but there were too many inconsistencies in his emails. One of my biggest suspicions was that his photos on the gay dating site were not him.

A few days ago he resumed contact and emailed me saying he was coming to my home city in the US in the fall and pleaded with me just to meet with him over a coffee. Well, he kind of hooked me into emailing him again but I remain skeptical and concerned. This time around he is more plausible. He just spent a month working in the Mediterranean as a waiter in a hotel so has earned the money to fly to the US. I checked his IP address and it matched the country he said he was working in. He is now on his way back home to Eastern Europe. He sent me some photos of him and the background matches the country he claims to have worked in. Also, the photos of him do match those of him originally on the gay dating site - although he is around 3 years older. By the way, shortly after me questioning him about his photos in our previous correspondence and ceasing communication, he removed his photos from his profile on the dating site.

I cannot positively prove that he is a scammer but then he is a clever lad. Much more clever than the average romance scammer. He does not bombard me with endearments - in fact he's rather cool in tone so that he doesn't indicate whether he is just interested in me as a 'friend' or a 'relationship.' He is never sexually graphic and comes off as rather shy...even a loner-type. But it's inconceivable to me that he doesn't have some agenda up his sleeve and probably has a dozen guys in my city on the hook - he is very good looking. If so, he may already have conned the money for the trip out of someone else as well as an invitation/sponsorship letter to show to the US consulate to help get his visa. Because of my previous suspicions and reticence he probably knows that if he asks me for money or an invitation letter from me I'm permanently off the hook.

Stupidly, in the early self-deluded days of my previous correspondence I sent him an old profile of me in a magazine when I was a hotshot filmmaker. Those days are long gone, but in his mind I am probably a rich and successful film director - a primo target for a scam or Sugar Daddy. If he knew my real financial situation he'd probably run for the hills.

Here's the big question. Should he make his way to the US on his own steam, am I in any danger meeting with him in a public place (i.e. restaurant or coffee shop)? Keep in mind his fantasy that I'm a wealthy bigshot director. (Outside of the magazine profile,I have not encouraged that image or ever mentioned my financial status in my emails, by the way.) Am I being paranoid that he's got some kidnap or other criminal scheme on his mind by pleading that we meet? He looks pretty passive in his photos but that doesn't prove a thing. Despite my suspicions, it's pretty tempting to meet with him if he comes to the US. Should I take a chance and meet with him or play it safe? Any feedback would be most appreciated.

One of the glaringly obvious points I keep seeing in your post is the second thoughts you are having.

My motto is, if you have to think twice about something, don't do it. Curiosity or not you have never met face to face and if you have any misgivings what to expect once he gets to the US then don't do it.

It sounds like he probably is after something and that's probably your money. There was a reason you broke contact with him before so why pursue it any further this time if you think he may be scamming you?

Just my two cents worth.

^^^ I have to agree.
Often, scammers promise to meet you, and then, shortly before their departure, a problem arises, and your financial help is needed.

He thinks you're a hotshot film director and it seems obvious to me that he's re-contacting you because he wants to get into movies. And he's prepared to work hard, save his money for his own air ticket to meet you. By providing him with your old profile and not admitting that you are no longer that person, you are in fact, scamming him, not the other way round.

Thank you Jonny for your 'insight." FYI, shortly after sending him my profile, I sent him an email frankly admitting that circumstances had changed and that my career had gone into a tailspin since the profile was written. The reason I sent the profile was for a photo it contained NOT the content of the profile itself. He had requested a photo. Since I had no recent pictures, I impulsively sent him the profile with my photo without thinking things through. It was a BIG MISTAKE!

He sent me back an effusive email falsely claiming he had seen some of my films. The last thing I wanted was him to work hard to buy a plane ticket and visit me in the U.S. Convinced he was a scammer, I sent him a gentlemanly email informing him that we should cease communication. On the slight chance that he was not a scammer, it would have been terribly awkward for the both of us if he visited me under false pretenses. Something I would NEVER DO. So you should be reticent about jumping to conclusions about me or anyone else on this website scamming a potential scammer.

In any case, the issue is no longer relevant. I did foolishly continue to communicate with him after he re-contacted me. The lad was not a scammer but he did end up giving me a lot of grief. So I highly doubt that I will EVER RESPOND to another unsolicited and dubious email from a dating site - regardless of how attractive someone appears in their photos. It's just too risky and not worth the aggravation.