Looks like a romance scam - do u agree?

I've been corresponding with e-mail address [email protected] who goes by the name of Alex Richardson Arhin although it is listed as Alex Arhin Richardson on the Gmail account. He contacted me around Labour Day on a dating site. I had only been on the site for about a week and was going to remove my profile so I gave him my Gmail address if he wanted to continue corresponding. I have fallen for his romantic messages hook, line and sinker. I finally shared this "romance" with my girlfriend because Alex was going to move to my city to be with me within a week. My girlfriend was more scammer savy than I and told me everything I should not do so that is when I started to search for scam info and found your site. Unfortunately, it sounds like your warnings of love scammers sound similar to what has been happening to me. His story started with making sure I knew that he had 3 homes - one in Massey Drive, Newfoundland, Canada, one in Walnut Creek, California and a condo in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. His parents had died in a car accident together and his wife had died of cancer 8 years ago. My husband died of cancer so that really tugged at my heart. His family information relayed that he has no one to lean on, emotionally as well as financially, it turned out. We soon knew we were totally meant for each other and were definitely soulmates. "Alex" is 61 years old, was born in Germany and is an oil rigger equipment shipper. He just has one last job to do before he retires so we can be together forever. His last job had him travel to Dubai where he ran into an unexpected $1500 bill which he couldn't come up with because his savings had been greatly decreased due to the economy so he put his Toronto condo up for sale but the real estate market isn't active now. I told him I was not in a position to help but would be later in the month. Yes, I was very naive (read stupid!) in sharing my personal information with him. So somehow he got himself back home to California and came up with the money but then he had to go to Accra, Ghana, Africa to get the equipment released and delivered to the company who would give him his cheque and then we would be together at last. For some reason, he did not go to Africa until the last week of this month and, surprise, there was another unexpected expense to get the equipment out of the holding location. This time he said he had tapped the last of his money and asked me to help him and he would pay me as soon as he got his cheque and moved to be with me. This sum was $2850. I told him I would call my bank tomorrow to see if I could get an advance and Alex is to call me tomorrow morning to advise how to get the money to him. I was broken-hearted that this really happened (just today) and still am hoping it is not a scam but it is just the the pathetic hope of a broken heart - my brain knows better, just can't get the message to the heart yet. I read that money should not be given/sent to anyone we have not met so I guess I already know that answer. What should I do now? I have given my home and cell phone numbers as well as my home address to Alex. He actually sent me roses which I now think was to confirm that I hadn't lied to him - I am becoming cynical very quickly now; too bad we have to be that way. I was married almost 40 years to the most wonderful, honest, loving husband and now I know how rare it will be to ever hope for that again.

I am sorry to say this, but I know that your head is really telling you anyway--you are absolutely dealing with a scammer.

The only thing that he has said that you can count on is that he is in Ghana. Of course, he didn't just travel there--he was there all along.

The roses, as you suspect, were a ploy to get you to believe in him. Sadly, odds are that they were actually ordered with stolen credit card info.

The best thing you can do is drop him completely. Do not point out his mistakes, don't try to get him to confess, don't try to make him feel guilty. He is not capable of feeling guilty, because he has no conscience. All he will do is tell more lies and attempt new approaches to steal your money.

It will help others if you can post some of his emails to you, as he is likely using the same script on other victims, and posting the photos he used (which aren't actually him) will help too.

Thank you for your immediate reply, Dotti. I did need your confirmation, even though I knew it. I will post more info below in the hopes of saving others from this type of hurt. After reading over the correspondence, I cannot believe how desparate I was for this fairy tale to happen. I will load the picture he used in the correct location - it really is a warm, handsome face. They sure know what they are doing, eh?

Thank you, Dotti, for you and the group's hard work in trying to limit these scammers. I'm afraid they might out-number us though - what a sad world.
==================================================================================

Following is the e-mail header detail of one of the e-mails:

Delivered-To:
Received: by 10.216.177.135 with SMTP id d7cs677wem;
Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:18:24 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: <[email protected]>
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of [email protected] designates 10.223.77.77 as permitted sender) client-ip=10.223.77.77;
Authentication-Results: mr.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: domain of [email protected] designates 10.223.77.77 as permitted sender) [email protected]; dkim=pass [email protected]
Received: from mr.google.com ([10.223.77.77])
by 10.223.77.77 with SMTP id f13mr13978185fak.19.1319163502795 (num_hops = 1);
Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:18:22 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;
d=gmail.com; s=gamma;
h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:content-type;
bh=ZFzuaHTLXo4dQLc4w7RL8ZCkAcViNb2L8fmdFMwP17E=;
b=VZ254APdhZR2qLsvZ8BdPZl/picCgpvMOt0Lih44EJb05MEmaXphYtAmUWuBJL1rMN
9NAdylHzMzO/BjiMxM7S5C9Pj4+OtrwPskXdJPHVa9JMHDZXHjSSanTeMT2jhX9Xmu7m
OlaZPQ45VIbthCQPXam6GqNd9fVO7FWttZsvU=
MIME-Version: 1.0
Received: by 10.223.77.77 with SMTP id f13mr13978185fak.19.1319163502791; Thu,
20 Oct 2011 19:18:22 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.152.20.129 with HTTP; Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:18:22 -0700 (PDT)
Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:18:22 -0400
Message-ID: <CAJ5jSechSfXZ5Q_Xez3q=LhuR_vT9WRE7HWcU=bg7RLm=K1tHw@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: hey
From: Alex Arhin Richardson <[email protected]>
To:
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=0015174be1f6fc0c5c04afc5af18

--0015174be1f6fc0c5c04afc5af18
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

hey babe..am going to to lie down cause my head really hurts..i waited a
while for U but u not showing up so will call u tomorrow before i
leave..Love U..Gdnite

--0015174be1f6fc0c5c04afc5af18
Content-Type: text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1

hey babe..am going to to lie down cause my head really hurts..i waited a while for U but u not showing up so will call u tomorrow before i leave..Love U..Gdnite

--0015174be1f6fc0c5c04afc5af18--
==========================================================================================

Alex mainly used Gmail chat and this message was sent just before he was supposedly catching a flight from Walnut Creek, California to a connecting flight in New York to Accra, Ghana:

from [email protected] [email protected]
to
date Fri, Oct 21, 2011 at 11:55 AM
subject Chat with [email protected]
mailed-by gmail.com
hide details Oct 21 (5 days ago)

11:48 AM [email protected]: HEY BABE
u there??

11:49 AM me: Hey sweeheart

[email protected]: am getting to ready leave
my flight is at 11.50 am

me: I missed u so much last night. Can we do a video chat sometime - will that work on your computer. That would make me so happy honey.

11:50 AM [email protected]: oh honey u shd have this a long time ago
remember when i asked that we skype
u never said anything
the ipad i use dont have a camera
its the first generation
11:51 AM am getting ready to leave to the airport
my cab will be here in nxt 10 mins

me: Oh right - so I need to download skype? OK sweetheart, go and have a safe trip. Save time for me too, eh? I love u so much.

[email protected]: yes honey

11:52 AM me: I miss u already.

[email protected]: me too hun

me: Say something romantic

11:53 AM [email protected]: oh honey
i want to be with u so bad

11:54 AM me: me too - make i happen - do everything there quickly so u can come to me. Go now, knowing I am waiting for u sweetheart

[email protected]: ok honey

11:55 AM i will call U tomorrow when i get there
take care honey
love U

me: take care of yourself - love U too. Bye for now
=========================================================================================

This chat was from Alex when he arrived in Ghana:

from [email protected] [email protected]
to
date Sun, Oct 23, 2011 at 7:00 PM
subject Chat with [email protected]
mailed-by gmail.com
hide details Oct 23 (2 days ago)

6:52 PM [email protected]: HEY babe
its very late
u there

me: Oh my!

6:53 PM [email protected]: how u doing honey

me: I miss u - how were your flights? Are u OK?

[email protected]: yes babe am ok..doing ok
miss u too

6:54 PM me: I went on Skype to add u to my contacts list but there are 9 Alex Arhins!!!! Anyways, I sent a note to the one in Walnut Creek so I hope it's you.

[email protected]: i dont have skype yet..i will to sign up for one

6:55 PM me: Oh no - there's another Alex Arhin in Walnut Creek??

[email protected]: idk
but thats not me

me: I thought u were already on it - I'm so confused honey.

[email protected]: alex richardson arhin?
6:56 PM no
what are u confused abt

6:57 PM me: How many Alex Arhins I found - I didn't think it was that common a name but I guess I was wrong. So do u have to get up early tomorrow or can u try to get your jet lag rest for awhile?

[email protected]: yes honey
have to be up in the morning to the port
6:58 PM to get the goods..there are stored at a warehouse in town
been**

6:59 PM me: You better get to bed then honey - I know it's late there. I have my classes in the morning and I have to take Mom shopping in the afternoon. I don't want to add more to your list, but if you can get a hold of me, great. I like to hear how it's going.
7:00 PM and I love u

[email protected]: ok hun
love u
what time will u be bk home

me: probably around 3 my time.

7:01 PM [email protected]: oh ok
gdnite honey
love u
bye

me: good night sweetheart - love u so much. Keep dreaming of me.

[email protected]: muuuah
==========================================================================================

This is the chat message supposedly from a cafe in Accra, Ghana asking me for money:

from [email protected] [email protected]
to
date Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 7:00 PM
subject Chat with [email protected]
mailed-by gmail.com
hide details 7:00 PM (4 hours ago)

5:43 PM [email protected]: Hey babe

me: Hi honey!
5:44 PM Tell me about your day.

[email protected]: honey my day has sucked
really bad
i wient to go get the goods
and they asked me to pay clearance fee
5:45 PM when i called the main office they asked that i clear the goods myself

me: I'm sorry honey - I don't understand what was the right thing to happen so explain what went wrong.

5:46 PM [email protected]: ok
so i went to Afgo to go clear the stuff
remember i went there yesterday

me: yup

[email protected]: and they were closed

me: yup

5:47 PM [email protected]: ok so i went there today
to go get the goods with the bill of lading
and they asked that i pay a clearance fee

me: and that wasn't expected, right?

[email protected]: its been raining all day
no it wasnt expected
now am responsible for clearing the stuff and driving them almost 300 400 miles to go deliver them to the company

me: WHAT???

[email protected]: cos the drilling company is in Takoradi
not in the captital town
5:49 PM Accra
they are offshore
oh babe
like i felt like shooting myself

me: who was suppose to do this originally?

[email protected]: 400 miles
i wasnt told they were 400 miles away
i thought that oh
as soon i get here
5:50 PM i show my documents to prove the stuff
the company gives out a check or what ever to have the goods taken out the port
to offices
then they write me up a check

me: so why aren't they doing that?

5:51 PM [email protected]: none of that honey
am responsible for doing all that myself
and having it delivered

me: wasn't that in the contract honey?

[email protected]: no honey
mostly what i do is
the goods are shipped off
to the country
5:52 PM then they cleared by thier agents there
their**

me: maybe u should get a lawyer to get them to do that??

[email protected]: a lawyer honey?
u know how that is going to take

5:53 PM me: so what are u going to do now?

[email protected]: they saying i shd deliver the goods and i will compensated for the costs i had to bear

5:54 PM me: so can u do that honey?

5:56 PM [email protected]: sorry the internet is messing up
5:57 PM because of the rain

me: it's ok honey

[email protected]: ARE U THERE?

me: yup - catch up

5:58 PM [email protected]: I don't know what to do..like i dont have the money right now...i have some but def not all..cos i need to hire vans to place too
and paying for that 400 mile journey

me: but u have to honey - u can't stop now, right?

5:59 PM [email protected]: yes honey

6:00 PM me: do whatever u did last time u got stuck with the unexpected costs??

6:01 PM [email protected]: yeah it cost me a great deal to ship those things..i really dont have the money..honestly..if am able to clear the goods and have my stuff delivered i will get my check..
i have run of funds
i told u this the last time

6:02 PM me: I know but u found a way then honey

[email protected]: i still owe that money
i couldnt even pay the bank yet

6:03 PM me: I understand that. Shouldn't the company pay you for at least what you've done so far and then you can use that to finish it?

[email protected]: when i called the lady
6:04 PM she said thats how it was done..so she let me speak to someone else
they took said sorry
the company has to see the product

me: OMG honey

[email protected]: they want delivered
and delivery forms signed off first
6:05 PM before they pay me

me: u should have gone to Toronto to sell the condo instead of back to California

6:06 PM [email protected]: yeah honey i told u..i had gotten any good offers
6:07 PM i would have given it up
but the market is not good right now
ppl are buying homes for less

me: nothing is good right now honey

6:09 PM [email protected]: u there hun

me: yup - just depressed about this trip going wrong too now

6:11 PM [email protected]: honey help me so i when i deliver these goods and when finish the contract i can pay u back..cos at this point i dont know where to turn and am almost done
please

6:12 PM me: U know my position honey - I don't have anything more than I did the last time u had this problem - what am I suppose to do?

6:14 PM [email protected]: please help me raise this money to deliver these goods
please
last time i sorted my self out
6:15 PM ths time am here and need to have them delivered please

me: How much do u think is needed?

6:17 PM [email protected]: 2850 for the clearance

me: and then delivery??

6:19 PM [email protected]: am not sure of the delivery..cos i havent cleared the goods..but according to them they will arrange the drivers when the goods come out
6:20 PM and thats when i ll know the exact amt for delivery

me: So 2850 is the total? I can see if I can get an advance from the bank tomorrow.

6:22 PM [email protected]: yes according to the bill the clearance is 2850

6:23 PM me: ok

6:25 PM [email protected]: i would be grateful honey

me: all I can do is try but I still have a bad feeling about this job honey.

6:26 PM [email protected]: a bad feeling like how honey
it will be okay

6:27 PM me: It just seems like a really bad contract, as if they will not end up paying you.
How can you say it will be OK with all that has already happened there? That is not normal business honey.

6:28 PM [email protected]: they seem genuine but i guess thats the way ppl go abt things here..like i told u the other day..they are dff
but i will def get my money

6:29 PM me: I guess time will tell...

[email protected]: cos the goods are at the port

me: How do I get the money to u if I can get it?

6:30 PM [email protected]: all i need to do is go get the goods and send off to thier location
i dont know
6:31 PM i will have to find out

me: ok, we'll chat tomorrow then?

[email protected]: oh u going?
already

6:32 PM me: Sorry, just feeling sad now - make me feel better honey

[email protected]: oh honey
6:33 PM can u hear me

me: nope

[email protected]: this comp doest have a mic
hold let me change my comp
i will call u bk

me: see - nothing works there
...
me: ok - get some sleep now

6:51 PM [email protected]: okay honey

me: goodnight honey

[email protected]: I love U honey
really do

me: i love u too
...
=======================================================================================

Hello Alison6!

Everything you describe is very typical of a west African romance scammer. Nothing he told you was true. The flowers he sent you were bought using a stollen credit card. A clever strategy to gain your trust. I'm glad you got suspicious and if he does happen to contact you again (they usually do not give up too easy) just ignore him. Thanks for posting your story and the scammers info it will help others avoid this scammer.

Justin

You are right, Justin. "Alex" has called many times and e-mailed me to find out where I have gone. It has been very hard to ignore his calls - not when I think of what he was doing to me but how he did it. I guess there is nobody to blame but myself for falling for this and going on a dating site when I was so vulnerable. That is what these scammers are hoping for - it's almost a fool-proof pay day for them if someone like me does not have anyone else they confide in. I was so close to being that person. I am so thankful for the information on this site - I am amazed at the intensity these scammers can bring out without actually meeting them. Keep up the great fight - I will get stronger each day and will pray for others to do the same.

Dear ohmy,

My heart aches for your own personal heartbreak. My Mother has also been taken by this man for over 100K. The address he uses in Massey Drive, Newfoundland is actually hers. I don't know how many other women this man has taken for a ride, but you are not the first and most certainly will not be the last. Please know that I am not judging you for following your heart, it's unfortunate that you can give your heart and soul to a person and they can just take you for all that you're worth. My Mother has contacted the RCMP and filed a report against this man. The photo that you posted on this website is much different from the one he sent to my Mother. I guess he has many different ones to choose from depending on his target.

In short, I am very sorry this has happened to you but please do not send him any more money and if at all possible, grieve for this relationship and find a way to let him go. He is not a real person or a real man.

All the best to you and I hope this all works out in your favour.

Suzi

Hello Suzip!

Sorry to hear about your mother being targeted.It may or may not be the same scammer as posted above. These scammers are typically uncreative and use each others methods. Can you please post the full details of the scammer that targeted your mother including his email address and phone number if you have it? This will help others who search his details avoid the scammer.

Justin

Thank you Justin. I thoroughly appreciate that there is a resource out there that tries to help people that are being taken advantage of.

The story that "Alex" gave my mother was as follows: When they "met" he was already in Ghana. His story was that he was a distributor of Apple Computers and that he had sent a very large shipment of computers to be used in schools in Ghana. He was unable to pay for the large duties or fees at customs to get the computers released from shipping. He had my Mom send money for that. I don't know the exact story since she was in constant communication with him and had no time to discuss the situation with anyone else. I do know that he told her that he was being blackmailed and not being paid for the computers once they were delivered. The payday was supposed to be around 300K. There were lawyers and the embassy involved. It was quite a confusing and intricate tale. All his money was supposedly tied up in these conputers and he had no access to his bank account back in California. His "lawyers" called her asking for money, he was put in jail for grabbing a judge who was trying to extort money from him. He would call my Mother crying an sniveling, telling her that they beat him in jail and he was fed only bread and water. As well, when they first met, he was unable to video chat on webcam because apparently all of the computers in Ghana had the webcams disabled!!! I do not know the phone number he used unfortunately.

The email address he used with her was [email protected] and his 2 laywers, one of which he fired for trying to get money from my mother to feed his starving children are Br. Williams Sandafour; [email protected] and [email protected]. As well, the bank email address which was used to verify all of the official looking documents is [email protected].

I was in communication with these people to tell them to leave my mother alone. They are smooth talkers to say the least. They tried using the race card on me to no avail. Very devious businessmen they are.

I really hope that this information can be used to help someone else.

Thanks again Justin for the work that you all do!!

Suzi

Yes ohmy, I certainly do agree.
Thank-you for posting the header because it generally gives a clearer picture. You will notice the third Received line, doesn't make sense in my opinion. Which means the headers below that line should be viewed with suspicion and possibly been forged. It really is a good idea to cease all contact with the scam artist with immediate effect because that places the scammer on the back foot. They don't like it when that happens.

I'm sorry that happened Suzip
It sounds like a devious scam story I'm afraid. The bank address is all wrong because they would never use a gmail address.
re: <Very devious businessmen they are.> Well, no they are not. They are just grubby scammers out to fleece people for whatever they can. And he didn't video chat because the game would have been up and the scam revealed.
Thankyou for posting the story because others conducting a search in future will find it.

I beg to differ jolly roger, they are indeed businessmen. This is their line of work.....scamming people out of their hard earned money and turning the tables back on people who try to challenge them. I just meant that their tactics are schrewd, businesslike in nature, since this is all they have probably ever learned to do. If my communications with them had not been laden with expletives, I would share what I am trying to describe. Basically, they "get" human nature and our inherent need to be close to others. They exploit this need in vulnerable people, that's what makes them pretty darn good at what they do. Sorry for the rant, but I believe that you quoted me in the wrong context. Peace.

And I am well aware that a bank would never use a gmail address but obvoiusly it worked on my Mother and numerous others. People can be very naive when they think they have found "love"

I believe Jolly meant that they are not legitimate businessmen, i.e. they aren't running a legitimate business. That is certainly true.

And you are absolutely right, Suzi. It's often difficult for victims, particularly of romance scams, to accept and understand that everything the scammer says is a lie, and that the romantic words are completely meaningless to them--because it's hard to imagine that anyone could have so little conscience that they could play on someone's emotions the way they do. But to a scammer, this is a business, and nothing more. To them, victims are not people--they are simply a means to an end. In fact, some scammers still use the word "maga" (which loosely translated, means "fool") to refer to their victims, and others have actually started referring to victims of some of their scams as "clients" almost as if there is a business relationship. The romantic poetry, declarations of love, and promises of a future are meaningless to the scammer--they are simply the things they must say or do to get their money. The most common scenario - single devoted father, tragic history, alone in the world - is used so often because it has been found to be the most successful. Even the guilt trips, the acting offended when he is questioned, and the claims of being hurt by something the victim said are fake. They are nothing more than tactics to make the victim pay.

Scammers also won't hesitate to use information from one victim in another scam. In your case, it sounds like a scammer used your mother's address. In other cases, if a victim has provided lots of information about something, a scammer may use it in their next scam. For example, if I tell a scammer lots of things about life in Kansas, the scammer may claim to be in Kansas for his next scam--and he may recycle, even verbatim, the things I told him--because the background information I gave him can be used to make him appear more authentic. If I had a sick child, and gave lots of detail about the illness, he might use the same illness, including much of what I wrote, as a means to steal money in his next scam. This is the main reason we tell victims not to call their scammers out, or point out the things they did wrong. Their English may be poor, but that does not mean that scammers are not intelligent. They can and will use our feedback to make their scams more believable.

Thank You Dotti. This is just so frustrating. I did everything I could think of to help my mother, including phoning the police and her bank. The only way to help people avoid these scammers is to educate them. Thank you for all that you do!

And another small point to watch out for is on going scam letters could be received. Scammers sometimes pass someones email address onto another fraudulant scammer and / or group of. I know that happened in my case, but the gates now closed on it. Even though the current situation may have ended, future communications might be received sometime in the future. It is a sad fact of Internet life I'm afraid.
But one good thing Suzip, is your mother is now better educated in regards to scams, knows what to look out for, which is great.
Thanks for the better explanation Dotti, sometimes I know what I want to write but the wording doesn't come out the right way.