FBI special agent

I am sure this is a scam - but I am not sure how to tell my sister. She has been through an incredibly hard few years and is convinced she is in love.

In October, she met "Victor Roma" on some online dating site. He contracts with the FBI as a special agent and had frequent, secret trips to South America. He only contracts with the FBI because his dad was from Mexico and, out of loyalty, Victor will not give up his dual US/Mexico citizenship.

My sister did meet him twice in October - and he only gave her a brief kiss on the cheek.

Since then, the "FBI" contacted her via phone for a background check so that she could talk to him on the phone rather than just text and IM. Note my sister is dead broke - in her mid 40s, in school, not working, very bad credit, etc.

Weeks go by when she does not hear from "Vic." This last time, it was about four weeks. She was very worried, but knew he was undercover in Mexico and had only been issued a one-way ticket so she did not know when she would hear from him again...

He frequently changes phones and emails - you know, FBI rules when he is undercover. Today, she only heard from him because he was online checking in because his email and bank accounts had been hacked. He warned her his email address would soon be shut down and, sure enough, she got a bounceback an hour ago.

"Vic" says he has a house worth about 8 million in Southern California - he has shown her photos of it. It is almost paid for because he frequently makes 20,000 - 30,000 payments (oh? IS that a lot? Vic was unaware.). He does make about $300,000 because of the hazardous nature of his job, so no problem.

He is requesting a stationary transfer son so they can be together - in Denver, San Diego, New York or a few other big cities. He, of course, will buy her a loft and will still go on three month-long undercover missions a year to support them.

Her birthday is at the end of March and, interestingly, so is Vic's! He has put in a request so they can spend the week together, but that is subject to change at the whim of the FBI. Her birthday is super important to her.

Of course, they also had tentative Valentine's plans, but he did not mention those in his brief call earlier tonight.

I am not sure his next step, but given his bank accounts were recently hacked, I am guessing he will be in need of money soon.

What do I do? I have researched FBI special agent pay grades and $300,000 is way more than top pay. Do I call the FBI field office and confirm the details of the story are not true? How do I tell someone who is in so much love and so sure this is real?

She is in a fragile mental state and has been in and out of mental health crisis centers for years. In fact, she was suicidal just a few months ago. I think I need to have a lot of facts before I talk to her? I am worried he will need money and she is expecting her tax return soon - and she needs that money quite badly.

It is also a bit odd that someone called her from the FBI for a background check. For a scam, that is pretty intense.

Help? Advice?

Thanks!

As always with love scams it is a very difficult situation you are in as the victim is sometimes very vulnerable themselves.

It is interesting that he has visited her, this is not unheard of but adds a lot of false legitimacy to a scam and can make it even harder to convince the victim they are being duped as seeing is believing.

Considering the fragile state of your sister I feel uneasy advising anything and maybe seeking professional help is the way forward but that can cause problems in itself if your sister isn't prepared to have counselling/therapy.

A way forward, possibly, is to try and make your sister come to the conclusion herself but it is a very difficult balancing game you have to try and do here. If you are confrontational she might start pushing you away but leading her to find answers for herself will give her the self respect of catching out the scammer on her own.

I'm not sure when he will ask for money but he will at some point. A lot of army-love scammers convince their victim that their leave has to be paid for. As he is applying for leave soon this might be what happens. He could also get 'kidnapped' during an undercover mission. If he is in the FBI (which he isn't) they would take care of all such demands and nobody would have to pay for his leave.

If you can get hold of any Emails sent we might be able to check the headers which could prove that he might not always be in a location he claims to be.

The call for a background check is all used to add legitimacy to the scam. Do you know what number they are ringing on? Again Google searching scammers phone numbers can bring up some interesting information.

You mentioned that pictures were sent of the house in California. If you have access to those pictures you could drop them into google image search and it will find the source. Many of these scammers can be quite lazy when it comes to photo evidence and it could end up that the house he claims to own is currently occupied by...I dunno...Michael Jordan or something. Anyway, any images used might be easily traced back to their source and could be used to help.

Perhaps one thing to discuss with your sister is money. There is no believable excuse that a high level FBI operative would ever need to ask a girlfriend for money. When he asks for money, and he will, then she should know something is wrong.

It's all very difficult but any seeds of evidence you might have that can plant a shadow of doubt are helpful. Best of luck and you definitely came to the right place.

The people here are amazing. They continually restore my faith in humanity. They will do whatever they can to help you.

People in current covert status would never tell anyone that they are covert, especially someone they met on the internet. Would that not reveal their cover? Yes, it would. It only takes one item of seemingly unrelated information to unravel the story for someone somewhere.

Former Chinese translator and intelligence analyst 100's of years ago.

Just following on from the other members views.
I too am of the opinion this being a scam. I would guarantee people working at or with the fbi certainly would not advertise the fact. I have 2 friends whom are police officers and they do not go around telling people of their work status. Having said that, perhaps they do things differently in the US? It is concerning she met him on a so called dating site. Scammers quite often invent their profiles and stories for maximum impact with the target.
re: Today, she only heard from him because he was online checking in because his email and bank accounts had been hacked.
That is a worrying sign and would be leading into a money request being slapped on your sister by the sounds of it. If his bank a/c has been hacked, that is between him, the employer and the bank, nobody else!