I feel so helpless! Frustrated! and Angry!

So I read the chain from downdaughter and thought, Wow... it's happening everywhere! I too have a father that believes 'Swan' is going to be his new lover when they finally hook up. He has been in contact via email or instant messaging since at least August of 2012 and has made serveral attempts to get her to the states at first, and now to Austin TX since then.

I can't keep doing this with him because it's driving me crazy and he's being such a pain in the butt. He wants to call and tell me that he is traveling once again to go meet her... this time her friend is suppose to show up at the airport and take him to her. After he went to NY to go meet her and she didn't show up and he was too embaressed to tell me what happened and said she is crazy, now he's leaving to LA because her flight from NY to Austin is taking her through LA... yes that's Los Angeles California... from NY... to get to Austin TX. BUT when she landed in LA they won't let her leave until she pays '19,000 in taxes on a check she has in her possession'! Oh and of course the check is made payable to him to the tune of 2MM!

I could go on and on with unbelievable stories of what has taken place over the past 6 months but in short, I absolutely understand that he is being scammed... what I don't understand is why he is such a willing participant. Is he loosing his mind? I believe that must be some part of it... early onset of dementia or something, but he's completely acting like the same guy he always has except when we try to talk about 'Swan'. He just wants us to trust that he knows what he is doing and gets very angry and rude if we try to explain that he could get hurt... seriously hurt if not killed. He doesn't believe that at all.

It's so scary to watch this happen to someone in your life. I'm at the point that I believe he is doing this just to hurt his 3 daughters... as if he hasn't done that enough. I feel very helpless and angry at him. I don't even know what there is to do at this point but sit and let it play out. I guess we'll see if he makes it home from LA in one piece and go from there. Any advise would be much appreciated and thanks for letting me vent.

Respectfully,
SoSad!

I wished it were hello under better circumstances SoSad.
A large portion of the problem I believe is this.
From the very moment a con artist targets someone, the tricksters entire arsenal of psychological manipulation is brought into play and the intended victim cannot see it. They honestly believe the scammer is a real talking person that says all the right things and makes them feel good. This moves the target from a position of control to one of no control over anything at all. The con artist moves into the position of power over the intended victim. The reason why is because the intended victim is the only character in the scammers play who hasn't a clue as to what is really happening! The scammer/s use a script that victims automatically follow, because many people are just good honest folk who want to help and be-friend others. That is what scammers count on, you see. The only choice given to the target is to react to what the other players in the scammers play are saying and doing. That is why scammers are always online when the target logs on because the target must be kept in the play for as long as possible without outside intervention.
Reality quickly flies out the window, the intended victim doesn't know it - their real world has been completely and effectively replaced with that of the con artist and it's cronies.
What you need to remember is, scammers are like actors. We all know tv shows and movies are all make believe, they may appear real but it's not true life. Ever wondered why half the population would die if they could not watch tv? They become so engrossed in the fantasy on the screen, it's like a release from the reality. Scammers are basically using hidden trapdoors, false bottoms, mirrors etcetera much like magicians use in a magic act. (Please - no offence to any magicians who may be reading this)
From the very start of the scam the taget is kept just slightly off balance so they feel clinging to the con artist for support. During the entire manipulation, the target is being emotionally positioned so that when the con artist disappears, victims feel as if they have pushed off a merry-go-round. In effect, they have been. The effect is devastating - it was planned to be that way.
I hope that makes some sought of sense?

I know exactly how you feel. I have gone through the same thing with my mother. She will believe what Daniel says over EVERYONE in her life! It is frustrating, however there is nothing you can do unless you can prove that he is incompetent...and good luck with that! We tried that with my mom. As long as she knows her name, the president's name, the date and a few other things an 8 year old could answer they are "competent". Even though I wouldn't leave an 8 year old home alone or unsupervised on the internet.

They are adults and they have the right to do what they want with their money. Even though mom's utilites were shut off and she had no food in the house because she was sending it all to her scammer we were unable to do anything to protect her.

The best advice I can give you is to continue to give her proof that this person is not who they say they are. Post as much as you can here...if you could get ahold of early emails and post them here. I found that searching for sentences out of his emails would point me to others who have used the exact same words and that seemed to make mom take notice.

This site has been very helpful! Mom is starting to see the light...not totally out of the fog yet but she is starting to come around. The people here are so helpful! A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF THEM!

Great ideal Momsbeenscammed and thank you Jolly Roger, it helps to know there are good people out there especially in the crazy days like we have doing on now. I think I will see if I can look at some of the messages they have been sending to my father and try to show him the trend. Everytime we think we have him convinced, it's only a couple days before he's back in their game. I would love to know what they are saying to make him believe them. This is so crazy.

Thank you both for sharing your thoughts and wisdom on the subject.

Sad to see these things happen in this day and age. Don't give up on him SoSad because when the realisation sets in, he's going to hit the wall really hard. Would be good if you were able to publish the scammers name, email address or something? Although I know these things are not easy. I'm sending a Private Message and I hope it's of help.

Great news MomsBeenScammed and happy to read mother is starting to see the light. You have a Private Message also.