by Dotti
Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:46 am
The chat log you posted tell me your scammer is definitely not American. The mistakes and phrasing point squarely to African.
One of the hardest things to do after finding out you were scammed is often separating the scammer from the character he played. For days, weeks, or months, this scammer represented himself as a distinct character, with a career, life story, and set of activities to match. Even when we learn it was a lie, our minds naturally relate the scammer to his character, and we unconsciously assume that the scammer chose a character that is similar to himself. We often do this because we are generally not very comfortable with lying ourselves, and know that if we were playing a role, it would be easier to invent a story that shared a lot of common elements with our real life.
It's very difficult to understand the mind of these scammers. The them, lies come as easily as (or more easily than) the truth. The scammer has one goal, and only one goal--to get your money. Everything he says, and everything he does, and everything about his character is based solely on that goal. He says what you want to hear, and what has worked in the past. He will continue to lie after his victims know the truth, because he has nothing to lose anyway--he doesn't care if his victim is hurt, or she thinks less of him, because she never mattered to him anyway. His only goal is to see if he can get more money before she escapes his grip.
It can take a very long time to really comprehend the true personality of a scammer, and how different it really is from the character.
One of the biggest problems with many dating sites is that even when they close accounts, they do NOT notify members that the account was fraudulent. They just quietly close the account and move on, ignoring the dozens of members the scammer has already been in contact with--so even if those members know the account is closed, they don't understand why. (And incidentally, many don't flag the photos in any way, and the scammer can come back with the same photos and a new name/location within minutes).
When his dating site account is closed, it doesn't phase him. He knew it was going to happen sometime (if he had a paid membership, undoubtedly he paid with a stolen credit card or a victim's money, and when the money source realized what was happening, the account would be closed anyway). That's one of the main reasons he was so quick to get you off the dating site and onto messenger and/or email. When his account is closed, he will merely tell each woman he is in contact with that he closed the account because he fell in love with her, so he no longer needed it. He will then go to facebook, a military site, or even google, and do some quick searching for photos of soldiers, or go to a modeling site like modelmayhem, pick a male model. He finds one he likes, saves those pictures in his email or on a thumb drive, and either makes up a fake name, or simply goes to a directory site and chooses a random name and address. The whole thing will take him less than 10 minutes (if he hasn't already prepared it before the account was closed). Another 5 minutes to create a handful of brand new email addresses in his name and open a new dating site account, and he is back in business with a new identity. He doesn't even have to change his letters if he doesn't want to--he can just copy and paste them into new emails.
The problem is, though, that when his new character is scamming someone, and she is suspicious, she will google that new address. Because it is brand new, it hasn't been reported for scamming yet. She will find nothing to tell her that he is a scammer, and she is more likely to proceed thinking everything is fine. There is no way for her to connect his new character to his past scams unless she googles his actual emails--and many victims do not think of this.
That is why we like to publish the information but leave any free accounts alone, unless we have a very specific reason for closing them. At least if the next victim searches the name and/or email address, she will find the information posted here and be warned. Until the dating sites step up and proactively notify each member who has been in contact with a scammer, it is the best way to ensure victims have a way to learn the truth.