Scammed mother, multiple iphones or the lack thereof.

Hello Warners,

I'm new and could use suggestions on how to tackle this situation:

I believe my dear mother got scammed, badly, something she may realize but does not want to discuss. I have only just discovered this, but it seems like she lost a lot of money, sending it through Western Union to places like.... yes you guessed right, NI-GE-RI-A. She is definitely the best Mum on the planet, friendly, likable, knows her way around the web but never developed an antenna for scammers.

As far as I understand now she believed she was buying unlocked iphones (I know) from some Dutch secondhand site, but never received any. They kept her on a leash, and apparently even made her send more money multiple times, probably with new false promises. So much I've learned from quickly scanning through her inbox. Now I want to really, really hurt those guys.

As I said: she probably knows something is gone wrong, but she just won't discuss it. She keeps on saying it is her own problem and it'll work out. I already know more about the situation now than she thinks I do. My guess is she will be very reluctant to show me her emails, something I would of course need unlimited access to if we want to get anywhere.

Most important, step 1: How do I make my mother to believe me on this one, and to let me help her?
After that I could start collecting all the relevant data.

Any suggestions are welcome.
Thank you.

Hi, anon-son.

In reference to your post on Eater, is there really no way you could get this site link or email addy? Maybe Google has already lots of scam hits of them. In this case you could simply suggest "Look at the bad reports I have found!".
Plus, getting the link and/or a few emails by this scammer with email headers would be necessary for the fake site killers.

Hi anon-son, and welcome to ScamWarners, although I'm sorry that it is this situation that has brought you here.

The main problem seems to be, not so much proving that it is a scam, but encouraging her to listen to her son long enough for him to explain! And that is a 'normal' sort of situation in a way - mothers are not accustomed to taking advice from their little ones ... and yes, even if you are 50 years old, you are probably still her little one as far as she is concerned.

I'm more accustomed to spotting scams than I am to family psychology, but perhaps she needs to know that you are on her side, and want to help sort out this situation. It might help, also, if you email some links to her, and then leave her alone to quietly look at them for herself, rather than stand over her and try to insist.

A good starting place would be our topic on Auctions and Online Selling Scams, here:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3222

Have a look, specifically, at the link 'Information on fake sellers, especially scammers offering cheap phones' (under the heading 'Buyer Beware') - that might be a good link to send her.

After a day or two, you could casually ask if she's read those links you sent her yet, and what did she think?

Thanks guys!

@Johann : I googled the address directly from her laptop (but didn't write it down sadly), but it didn't show any results at all. All I recall from that is it was a seemingly random hotmail address. I only want to obtain more info by my Mum giving it to me out of her own free will.

@Chris : thank you, for those links and words. I think indeed family psychology is my first hurdle here, and sadly isn't my strongest side Even though I am a 29 y/o man with a professional background in web development she thinks I am just bugging her. So, for now, I am following your advice and sending her those links followed by giving it some rest. That seems like the wisest thing to do for now.

Well, I have been known to send out warnings from time to time when I find lists of potential victims. I'm also pretty sure the mods here do a better job. Suggestion; PM your mother's address to one of the mods here, and have them send out one of their more refined warning e-mails. Maybe she'll be more inclined to listen to a link from stranger than her own son.

I can be shot down on this one, though; the kind and gentle side of this is new to me.

A kind warning email from a Support Team member can be a wonderful help, but I think that in this situation, if anon-son was to pass on his mother's email address, she might view this as a 'betrayal'. And, if so, it could do more harm than good.

It is always a delicate situation when it is one's close family member who is the victim of a scam.

Hi anon-son and welcome to scamwarners

I’m very sorry to hear about your mother.
People usually find it hard to admit that they have been scammed, that is understandable.

However, victims come from all backgrounds, rich, poor, doctors, engineers etc. These scammers are very good at what they’re doing.

Nobody is stupid, and there is no shame to admit that we got scammed. It’s a situation that we all can get into. One of my friends is a pilot, has MSc in air transport management, nevertheless, he nearly got scammed in a fake car advert.

You can send your mother this link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3522605.stm

It happens to all people, nobody is immune from falling to these criminals.

If your mother realizes this, then it’s a matter of time before she gives you all the information we need to stop this criminal from scamming more victims

Wish you and your mother all the best !