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Welcome Deb1965,

I'm glad you caught on before losing any money.

Just a few notes:

-Lonely and sensitive is usually what the scammer is going for--and he has had plenty of practice adjusting his story based on victim feedback.

-The stolen photos are of a real soldier, but his name very likely is not Pedro Segarro. Scammers often steal photos and make up new names to go with them. The ID is a total fake. The man in those photos is also way too young to have an 18 year old son!

-You are right in thinking his "confession" was a ploy, but it wasn't to prevent you reporting him--since you have none of his real information and he is in another country, he's not too worried about that. What he was hoping was that you would remain in contact, and later he could get money from you for another reason (often the scammer will say he wants to quit scamming but he can't survive without your help...)

-We try not to point things out to scammers that they did wrong. By pointing out the Nigerian IP's, you increase the likelihood that he will use a proxy next time to avoid detection.

-When a scammer claims he "removed" his profile because he is serious about you, it usually means that the dating site deleted it because someone else he tried to scam reported it.

I'm assuming you now realize, but just to reiterate: only soldiers can request leave, and they don't pay for it. Outside people cannot request leave for them. The moment a "soldier" asks you to request anything for him, even if no money has been requested, you can be certain you are dealing with a scammer.

He may try to contact you again--if he does, the best thing to do is to ignore him. Do not respond to any emails, phone calls, or chat attempts. He may also try to approach you using a new identity, so be alert when it comes to future contacts.

Yes I know now from reading here about military leave. He claimed to be 41 another thing I raised questions about. Until I wrote this all out I had no idea how many things I let slide. I was always doubtful but it shows you how easy it is to fall for what they say. I'm not sure about the idea of the dating site deleting him because oasis has a review process where if they get complaints there is a notification on the profile for a few days. I assume he was just being careful. I didn't know not to point out things to them it didn't occur to me. I did not say I used an IP tracker but he probably knows thats what I did.

Thanks for the welcome and thanks for the heads up about possible future contact under a different identity.

It is crazy I usually never accept contact with people outside my country but he was the only one I ever accepted. There must be tonnes of them out there doing this.

You've been brilliantly level-headed and sensibly cautious deb1965 - bravo to you.

He's hurting too, but as he's abusing the name of the US military you needn't feel any sympathy, especially as he was also using the lie of a deceased wife and sister ill with cancer, that he'd have used later in the scam.

Anything you say to him will cause him to respond with a lie. He's already tried to bluff his way out of your previous questions and you'd never get any sense out of him. The sad truth is that the character you imagined doesn't exist and the scammer is nothing like him.

I just added in his phone number which I forgot about til now. I suppose this means he has scammed others before me to get the phone. As you say everything that comes out of their mouths are lies. He said this was the first time he'd been on a dating site scam wise... that he usually did bank fraud. Also added a few other bits about the unit he claims to be from.

Yes - even when they confess, they aren't turning over a new leaf, they're just changing gear and trying a new scam approach. It might seem tempting to give them a chance but these scammers live and die by deceit and will never change their ways. Some have jobs and do this as a sideline and others have never done anything else in their lives. Getting their hands on modern technolohy like cellphones and blackberries is very important to them as it marks them out among their pals as a successful scammer which earns them respect among their low life buddies.

Not many scammers are convincing enough to survive voice contact with an intended victim which is why they often say they need money to get a phone. That way they can make it appear they are keen to speak person to person whilst explaining why they can't do it and, more importantly it gets them cash.

To think anyone goes abroad without a cellphone nowadays is ridiculous. The first thing any soldier abroad will do is make arrangements to ensure they can be in voice contact with home and they don't need to contact a stranger from the internet to realise they forgot to do it. If a soldier you've met on the internet can't speak to you by phone, he's a scammer. The reason scammers won't speak to you is because you won't be able to understand what most of them are saying, and their accent is nothing like any American accent you've ever heard.