I need help for my mother's sake

my mother is falling head over heels for a man named "David Blanc" he claims that his birthday is February 14, 1952 and he is from Minnesota. I try not to pry into her private life but he seems like he is a grea guy. He has sent my mother photo's of himself and his 25 year old son "James Blanc" he son claims to be a college student in the UK. i asked my mother is she feels like this is a scam and she says no because he has offerd to pay her rent and help her with any kind of expenses. On january 5th 2011 he was suppose to visit my mother and she told me that he e-mail her the iternary of his flight. On the 4th she called me telling me he is not coming becasue his business partner died and he needs to collect antiques for his business. then she does not hear from him for 5 days then his son sends my mother an e-mail calling her "mom" telling her that David has been in a car accident in Malaysia and he needs 3,000$ ( the dollar sign in the wrong location) to see his father here are one of the e-mails my mother send me:

[email protected]t: Mon, January 10, 2011 1:38:55 AM
Subject: Urgent!!!

Hi Mom!I think my father told you i school in the UK?i am presently in the school right now.i have talk to my travel agent and he said he will cost me 2,950$ to Malaysia and i don't have that much with me i need to go and see my father as soon as possible please get back to me i need your help i will be glad to hear back from you as soon as possible God be with you.i will be flying from Heathrow Airport to Kuala Lumpur International Airport.waiting to hear from you.

Regards,

James.

this is weird to me what do you guys think? My mother is only now in communication with his "son" and they are commnicating over e-mails only. No phone conversations has not spoken to "David Blanc" in almost a week.

I'm in the UK - no kidding.

I'd be happy to go round and offer my assistance. I can take cash, though we use pounds sterling and don't refer to amounts of money in dollars. Tell your mother to get his details as she knows someone in the UK who will help. Two things will happen:-

1. He'll hiss like a vampire that you've shown a cross to.
2. He won't be able to supply any details because he isn't in the UK.

I'll drive round with the cash and give him a lift to the airport, but I know my money won't be at risk but your mother's will if she sends it by Western Union to get collected by a scammer.

Lastly - bear in mind that people in the UK have bank accounts like everyone else in the Western world but he won't supply one. He'll ask the money to be sent by Western Union which he knows he can pick up wherever he is really located, which won't be in the UK.

If he doesn't have a UK bank account, he's a liar but I'm perfectly placed to check out any details he provides and will be happy to offer assistance if he needs it. Of course his bank, knowing his Dad is rich, would be delighted to make him a loan, and the flight will only be the start of his outlay. He'll need money for the hotel.I also happen to be retired from a UK bank and could also offer advice, guidance and help there too if he lets me have details of where his bank is. Asking for financial help from someone you only know from the internet is not natural behaviour, but if he wants money you're entitled to make sure it is sent in a safe and secure manner to someone whose details match what he's told you.

Part of the scammer's art involves bullying and emotional blackmail. If he can't or won't answer your reasonable questions he'll be proving to you that this is all one complete lie.

Welcome here SeattleRain206.

This is a common romance scam. If possible try to convince your mother that this is a scam, but be carefull about it, as she can think of it that you are jealous. Ask her if she wants to take a look on our website, especially the romance scam forums.

I found this link to the British Embassy website in Malaysia

http://ukinmalaysia.fco.gov.uk/en/help-for-british-nationals/internet-scam/

I think your mother and the scammer should both read it.

It will sound very familiar.

Welcome Seattle,

I'm sorry to learn what has brought you here.

First of all, as the others have already said, there is absolutely no doubt that your mother is dealing with a scammer. He is actually following the textbook course. It's not at all surprising that he seemed like a great guy--most of these scammers are very good at playing the role of someone who is caring, romantic, sympathetic, and responsible. (Of course in reality they are none of these.) It's also very common for the scammers to offer money or tell their victims how they will be coming home to help them and support them--saying those things help to convince victims that they couldn't possibly be scammers. In the end, the only helping that will actually happen is the scammer helping himself to whatever money he can get. Scammers use prewritten scripts to create a plausible storyline, and stolen/copied photos that help to make it appear to be real. The truth is, your mother is still in touch with the man playing the role of David--because he is also playing the role of David's son.

If your mother is falling for this person, you need to help her to see the truth, understanding that this could be very difficult for her. You also need to understand that if he knows you are attempting to intervene, the scammer will do everything he can to drive a wedge between you and your mother--from claiming you are clueless to trying to convince her that you are interfering, jealous, or don't really want her to be happy. It can be particularly challenging when the victim is a parent, because it is often very difficult for a parent to admit to being conned to their child, even when that child is an adult. Falling for a scammer does not make her stupid or foolish, but it doesn't mean she won't feel that way, as that is a normal response.

For starters, I would recommend that you read these introductions to romance scammers, and encourage your mother to read them also:
http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=3607
http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=25

Of course you can certainly point her to this thread here.

We would also be happy to send her a warning by email, or even warn by phone if that is necessary. Please let us know if you would like assistance in this.

In the meantime, let me point out a few things about the information you have posted:
-If the man and his "son" are American citizens, the American Embassy could help.
-The "son" will just be the scammer under another email address. If he has not used a proxy, we may be able to show that the email from the "son" also came from Malaysia or Africa, and not UK. (Most likely he is an African currently in Malaysia on a student visa.)
-It's certainly not impossible, but it is significantly less likely that the son would be a college student at the age of 25. Even if he took a year or two off, he would likely have graduated.
-The writing of the "son" is atrocious, certainly not consistent with someone whose first language is English who is also attending college in an English-speaking country! The specific mistakes in English and some of the phrasing (for example "i school in the UK") tell me pretty clearly that this was written by an African, not an American.
-The use of the term "mom" when she has never met him--this is done simply to make her feel responsible for him and make her more likely to pay.

Hi SeattleRain206.
Yes it sounds to me as if the scammer is playing both roles here. Yahoo tells me the profile is thus.
Name: James Blanc
Gender:Male
Location;St. Paul, Minnesota
Member since: 08/01/2011

This is the advice from the US Embassy in Malaysia

http://malaysia.usembassy.gov/scams.html

An increasing number of Americans have been victims of scams originating in Malaysia. Con artists contact Americans through the internet, including dating web sites. These con artists usually pose as American citizens who have unexpectedly experienced a medical, legal, financial or other type of emergency in Malaysia that requires immediate financial assistance. Co-conspirators may pose as Malaysian lawyers or medical professionals to verify the story and the supposed urgent need for cash. For additional information on these types of scams, click here.

We strongly urge American citizens to be very cautious about sending money to people who claim to be Americans in trouble in Malaysia. There is very little to be done after the fact to recover your money. If you have been contacted in a way that fits the above pattern, or you believe someone is trying to scam you in another way, send as many details as you can to us at [email protected] BEFORE you send any money. We will try to determine whether the information you have received is legitimate.

If your mother doesn't believe you, then it's plain foolish not to accept the help of the Embassy there on the spot who can resolve the problem without any doubt whatsoever, and if this person were in trouble, wouldn't they be the perfect people to help ? - not that there's any chance the story's true.

Thank You,

I directed my mother to this site and she read all of the comments and she now sees that his infact was a scam. She is a bit heartbroken ( she had pictures of this man and his son on her wall) she is feeling humiliated how do i tell her things like this happen all the time and to not beat herself up about this situation?

Yes SeattleRain, your mother would be feeling low and maybe embarrassed by the situation. I can assure her many people have had their fingers burnt by these fraudulant tricksters. It is not your mothers fault the other party was just using her. It has been my experience online dating seems to be like walking through a minefield.
However I am happy that your mother has now seen the individual for what they really are. By posting your story, it will save someone else sometime in the future.
When writing to someone who turns out to be a fraud does hurt a lot when the realisation sets in. People become angry, feel like they are stupid etc and etc. All these feelings are normal.
However what your Mother must achieve is to rise above that and move on. If she has sent money to the person through western union, there is very little chance of any recovery of her funds I'm afraid to say.
Many people in the forums have been down that road, but reporting the scam and communicating with others in the forums will make her a stronger person.