by Dotti
Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:13 pm
Jeanie,
I can only imagine the frustration you are going through, but unfortunately, this is one case in which you are not going to find a solution here.
The majority of victims of the scams we see here are really more uninformed than anything else. Often education (and the support of friends and loved ones) will ultimately get the victim out from under the scam.
But there is a small percentage of victims who are far beyond that. These victims often have mental health issues and/or a history of addiction. These victims may be delusional, or simply so addicted that they are unable to let go of the fantasy.
Your brother clearly falls in the the latter class. Nothing you say or do at this point is going to get through to him. You can show him 200 identical examples of the scam, a signed confession from the scammer, and he is still not going to let go of his delusion. He is addicted to this scam, and he is in far too deep to recognize and accept the facts. Without some serious professional help, it is unlikely he will ever let go. And he's most likely going to have to "hit rock bottom" if there is going to be any chance that he admits to himself that he has a problem.
In reality you only have a few possible options here:
1) continue to try to talk to your brother and convince him it is a scam. With his history, your chances of success are almost zero, and your efforts will only serve to further stress yourself. Honestly, it's not a very effective solution.
2) Contact the police and report what is going on, including the latest transactions, in hopes that they will investigate the financial transactions. You need to be aware, though, that it is your brother they will investigate, and probably not the criminals that are outside of their jurisdiction. It is possible they could charge your brother with money laundering as well. Contact the fraud department of his bank also. It's impossible to say if this will help you any, but it is possible that this will at least start to wake him up to the reality that something is wrong with this. And, it is possible that this will lead to further restrictions that may stop him from being able to do this as easily. As far as them arresting the scammers (again they can't anyway) it still wouldn't solve the problem. As long as he is caught up in this delusion, there WILL be another scammer waiting to pick up where this one left off.
3) Contact an attorney and find out if there is any way you can have him legally declared incompetent, and have yourself or another person assigned as guardian over his finances. Again, this won't stop him completely, but cutting back his access may slow him down quite a bit. If you can't have him declared incompetent, get advise from the attorney on how to protect your share of any inheritance (and shares belonging to any other family members.)
4) Cut off his access to any money that does not belong to him, block his access to your home and the homes of family members (a victim this addicted is likely to steal if he can't get money any other way) and do the best you can to move on with your own life without getting pulled in any further. Simply let him know that you can't watch him do this to himself, but you will be there if and when he is ready to face the truth. It's not easy to do but sometimes it is necessary.